IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #art
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There is no denying the fact that some people believe the administration is
alocationg
Correct your spelling
allocating
a location
 a lot of funds
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the art
instead
 of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other things.
While
 it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
commonly held
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
elsewhere
 may be more beneficial. In my opinion, I consider that governments' money should be
spends
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 more effectively.
Submitted by abdallah550603 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a general introduction to the topic, but it lacks specific examples or details to support your points. Try to include more specific arguments or instances where government spending could be redirected to create a stronger response.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction is present, ensure you conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and a definite position on the issue.
task achievement
The introduction clearly identifies the topic and your viewpoint on the government’s spending on art.
coherence cohesion
Your opinion is presented at the beginning, setting a clear direction for the discussion in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • promoting cultural diversity
  • stimulates economic growth
  • creative industries
  • revenue
  • economic competitiveness
  • quality of life
  • wellbeing
  • social cohesion
  • strategic investment
  • sustainable development
  • accountability
  • extravagant
  • resilience
  • public discourse
What to do next:
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