People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

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It is true that nowadays, the consumption of sugary

drinks

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is dramatically increasing. In my opinion,

this

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is derived from the easy access and popularity of fast food, and I think

this

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phenomenon can be tackled with proper measures

such

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governments’

Change noun form

governments

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regulations and campaigns.

To begin

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with, ever-increasing sales of beverages containing

sugar

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can be explained by two primary factors.

First,

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people can readily buy soft

drinks

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at convenience stores, supermarkets, and even offices and schools where vending machines are installed.

That is

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this

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implies that they prefer to buy a can of Coke

instead

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of carrying water with them in order to be hydrated.

Second,

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busy modern people consume soft

drinks

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with their meals in fast food outlets.

Due to

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their hectic schedules and various commitments, they value time rather than healthier and more nutritious meals.

Nevertheless

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this

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issue can be addressed by a

government’s

Change noun form

government

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policy and public service advertising that shows the impact on the body when

blood

Add an article

the blood

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sugar

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level is too high. First and foremost, the government can enact regulations that can deter citizens from consuming unhealthy beverages

such

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as Coke, Fanta, and Sprite.

For example

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, they can impose penalties on companies which make soft

drinks

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surpassing specific levels of

sugar

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concentration which cause serious diseases including diabetes and obesity.

Besides

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, the government can initiate campaigns to educate the public on the detrimental

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

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on health which can be caused by an excessive amount of

sugar

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. Considering the general public

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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not aware of or

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

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not pay attention to

possible

Correct article usage

the possible

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dangers of consuming sugary carbonated

drinks

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this

Linking Words

is one of the most effective ways to change their attitude. In conclusion,

although

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it is noticeable that many people enjoy

drinks

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containing

sugar

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due to

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convenience to buy and busy lifestyles, I would argue that

this

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can be dealt with well by regulating food companies and promoting expected health issues that they can cause.

garim4645Mon Jan 20 2025

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coherence cohesion

Strengthen the linkage between your two main points and the thesis stated in the introduction for better cohesion.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples or evidence to support claims, specifically regarding governmental actions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that restate the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Main ideas are well organized with clear paragraphs dedicated to separate points of discussion.

task achievement

The response adequately addresses the question by discussing both reasons and potential solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

Your opinion

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. However, there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. why is this hapenning? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Some people believe that globalization is beneficial for developing countries, while others argue that it has negative effects. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.