It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is believed that taking
risks
in a
Remove the article
apply
life
is a
compulsory for career and personal Change the article
apply
life
situations. I think, there are more disadvantages than advantages because it will be contributed
to uncertainty and instability Wrong verb form
contribute
with
increasing Change preposition
by
a
complexity of Correct article usage
the
life
by taking risks
.
The prime drawback is instability occurred
in various situations. Usually, Wrong verb form
occurs
people
take risk
with planning which disrupts their stability and routine in their Fix the agreement mistake
risks
lives
. Even, many people
sacrifice their principles or values just because of risks
taken in professional
and personal Correct pronoun usage
their professional
lives
. For example
, mostly 50% people
invest in the stock market without getting basic knowledge and Change preposition
of people
risk
their savings for a
sake of future investment. In Correct article usage
the
this
case, some people
lose their
almost every penny of their savings by just taking a single Correct pronoun usage
apply
risk
.
The other drawback is decisions taken on behalf of risks
come with a result of uncertainty. These decisions will have a great impact in
Change preposition
on
a
Remove the article
apply
life
. It will change the whole scenario of goals and future plans without knowing the exact thing, how can people
risk
their lives
. Small risks
can be taken which can cause only minor changes in anyone’s life
. But compared
Verb problem
However
to
big Change preposition
apply
risks
which
will have an adverse Correct pronoun usage
apply
affect
Replace the word
effect
in
personal Change preposition
on
life
which lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
toward
anxiety . Change preposition
to
For instance
, these days people
got
fed up with business Wrong verb form
get
trainings
and Change the wording
training
pieces of training
loss
their stable Replace the word
lose
low salary
jobs as Add a hyphen
low-salary
training’s
Change the noun form
trainings
training
don’t
pay which may cause depression . Risking out in professional Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
life
directly impact
on personal Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
life
.
To conclude
, I believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
risks
must be taken with a prior knowledge
but only Remove the article
prior knowledge
a piece of prior knowledge
at
some extent without affecting personal and professional Change preposition
to
lives
. But taking bigger risks
will definitely create a pitfall for both lives
which contribute
a uncertainty Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
along with
instability in a
Remove the article
apply
life
.Submitted by gursagarsingh1998 on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear structure, it can benefit from stronger logical connections between points. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas from one paragraph to another.
task achievement
The essay does cover both advantages and disadvantages, but it could present a more balanced view by exploring more advantages to provide a comprehensive analysis.
task achievement
The essay mentions the importance of prior knowledge when taking risks but could elaborate more on what this means practically for individuals in professional and personal settings.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a good frame for the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as investing in the stock market and taking business training courses, which help illustrate the points well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.