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Writing Samples
Band 6

Digital communication technology such as e-mail, instant messaging and social media has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reason for your answers and include examples nd from your own knowledge or experience.

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Digital
communication
technologies
such
 as email, instant messaging, and social
media
 have transformed the way
people
 communicate and connect with each other. I strongly agree that these
technologies
 have improved
communication
 significantly, but I
also
 recognize that they have certain drawbacks.
This
 essay will discuss both the benefits and challenges of digital
communication
, providing relevant examples. One of the key advantages of digital
communication
 is the ability to connect
people
 across distances instantly. Platforms like WhatsApp and Zoom allow families and friends to maintain strong bonds regardless of geographical barriers.
For example
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, video calls were essential for
people
 to stay in touch with loved ones and conduct remote work meetings.
Furthermore
, email has become an essential tool for professional
communication
, enabling quick and efficient exchanges. It allows individuals and businesses to communicate with colleagues, clients, and partners around the world, often eliminating the need for physical meetings. Social
media
 platforms like Facebook and Instagram
also
 help
people
 stay updated on each other's lives, making it easier to maintain relationships over time. Despite these benefits, digital
communication
 has its challenges. One major drawback is the reduction in face-to-face interactions, which can negatively impact the quality of relationships.
For example
, messages sent via instant messaging may lack emotional nuance, leading to misunderstandings.
Additionally
, social
media
 can sometimes create superficial connections.
People
 often feel pressured to portray an idealized version of their lives, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or loneliness. Studies have shown that excessive use of social
media
 can contribute to mental health issues
such
 as anxiety and depression, particularly among young
people
. In conclusion,
while
 digital
communication
technologies
 have greatly enhanced global connectivity and improved the efficiency of
communication
, they
also
 present certain challenges,
such
 as the decline in face-to-face interactions and the potential for superficial relationships. On balance, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, but it is important to use these
technologies
 mindfully to maintain meaningful connections.
Submitted by larasati.sylvia41 on

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task response
Try to delve a bit deeper into both the advantages and disadvantages, perhaps exploring more varied perspectives or implications.
task response
Ensure that every point you mention in your essay is directly related to the improvements brought about by digital communication.
coherence and cohesion
Although your essay flows well, consider using a variety of cohesive devices to further enhance your writing.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines your strong agreement with the statement and previews the structure of your essay well.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the key points discussed and reaffirms your position effectively.
task response
You have provided clear examples, like the use of video calls during the pandemic, to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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