Art is considered an important part of our society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encourged to focus on art rather than other subject.

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Art
is an important part of civilization since it reflects its culture. We could dive into one's character through his
art
since his pieces are reflections of his soul.
Therefore
I think, it is important for
children
to study
art
at some
points
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point
show examples
of
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in
show examples
their life.
However
, I do not encourage
children
focusing
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to focus
show examples
only on
art
rather than other subjects.
This
essay will discuss my arguments. To commence with, studying
art
will be beneficial for
children
. They can express their feelings through
art
. They can
also
train their
craftmanship
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craftsmanship
show examples
by making artworks
such
as sculptures, paintings, and music compositions.
Moreover
, they can
sharpening
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sharpen
be sharpening
show examples
their understanding
on
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of
show examples
people and
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the enviroment
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
by enjoying
artworks
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artwork
show examples
. As an example, I learned to play
piano
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the piano
show examples
when I was in elementary school. Even though I
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
not become a professional pianist,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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until today I play piano to express my emotions.
Therefore
, I agree that studying
art
is very fruitful for
children
.
However
, I do not think it is productive for
children
to focus on
art
alone and to leave other subjects
,
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apply
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unless they want to be an artist.
Art
are
ingridients
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ingredient
, not the main course for people to live.
While
other subjects
such
as science
is
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are
show examples
important to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
communities,
it
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they
show examples
needs
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need
show examples
a little touch of culture.
For example
, a doctor has studied in medical school to cure people. With additional knowledge in
art
, he will have
the
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apply
show examples
more
sensitivites
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sensitivity
when dealing with patients.
To conclude
, studying
art
is good for
children
in order to
equipt
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equip
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
main profession in the future with sensitivities.
However
, unless he plans to be an artist, there is no need for
children
to focus only
in
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on
show examples
art
. I, personally experienced that
art
enriched my life.
Hence
, I encourage
children
to learn culture
since
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from
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early
Correct pronoun usage
their early
show examples
years.
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that topic sentences clearly indicate the main point of each paragraph, and that each paragraph focuses on one central idea.
task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction to provide a clear thesis statement that guides your essay's argument.
task achievement
The essay provides clear examples from personal experience, such as learning to play piano, which support the argument for teaching art to children.
coherence cohesion
A well-structured conclusion that summarizes the main arguments and provides a final opinion, reinforcing the essay's main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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