Some people argue that globalisation has been a great benefit to people around the world, while others believe that it is the cause of many of the problems we see today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
While
some argue that Linking Words
globalization
is of an advantage to individuals around the world, Use synonyms
other
think vice Fix the agreement mistake
others
visa
. Correct your spelling
versa
Although
Linking Words
globalization
has Use synonyms
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
over population
in some countries, I believe that it has been of great importance because of good Correct your spelling
overpopulation
relationship
among countries.
On the one hand, one of the drawbacks that Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
globalization
has caused in the world is Use synonyms
over population
in some nations. Correct your spelling
overpopulation
This
is because people migrate from one country to another to carry out businesses, to tour and others to stay there permanently. The country that welcomes a lot of tourists ends up being Linking Words
over populated
Correct your spelling
overpopulated
due to
the increase in the number of people. Linking Words
For example
, China is facing a problem of Linking Words
high
number of people Change the article
a high
the high
due to
many investors in their countries. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
a
cost of living becomes high. Correct article usage
the
However
, compared to the benefits that Linking Words
global
brings to us, the drawbacks are overlooked.
Replace the word
globalisation
On the other hand
, I believe that Linking Words
globalization
has brought more advantages than disadvantages. It has created good relationships between nations. Use synonyms
That is
to say, leaders of different locations meet and discuss about development of different states and those that are financially unstable, they are always given some money in order to develop. Linking Words
Consequently
, Linking Words
this
creates good bonding and relationship which is Linking Words
long lasting
. Add a hyphen
long-lasting
For instance
, Linking Words
Correct article usage
the world
world health organization
always supports Correct your spelling
World Health Organization
health
Correct article usage
the health
system
globally since they have a good Fix the agreement mistake
systems
relation
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
relationship
although
Linking Words
global
has Replace the word
globalisation
lead
to congestion Wrong verb form
led
of
some places, I think that it has increased the relationships Change preposition
in
of
various nations.
The governments should encourage it more to increase peace.Change preposition
between
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task achievement
Work on providing more varied and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Focus on diversifying vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
task achievement
Ensure precise accuracy in language usage to maintain clarity and meaning.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion highlighting both views on globalization.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that outlines the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are generally connected well, although there is a slight need for smoother transitions.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example