IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #lives #celebrities #q-
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
media
Use synonyms
 should
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 expose the
Use synonyms
celebrities
Change noun form
celebrity's
celebrities'
show examples
 lives .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the exposition of famous
people
Use synonyms
 and say why I disagree with the statement that the magazines should not
published
Change the verb form
publish
show examples
 the
news
Use synonyms
 to the public. Some
people
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 argue that the
media
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 should not bring out all that
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
 to the famous. In a world where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 become the pivotal means of communication and
people
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 expose themself to win followers and fame , could be tricky just blame the
media
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.
Furthermore
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, everyone
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 could be the
media
Use synonyms
 or
papparazzi
Correct your spelling
paparazzi
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 easy to catch
Use synonyms
celebrities
Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
show examples
 life information with a camera
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
 phone. Social
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as ,
Instagran
Correct your spelling
Instagram
 and
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
 for
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
 can
allowed
Change the verb form
be allowed
allow
show examples
 an ordinary person to
published
Wrong verb form
publish
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 of
celebrities
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 in a
second,
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and
then
Linking Words
 millions of
people
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 could have
acess
Correct your spelling
access
. Some famous
people
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 are low profile and prefer not to share too much ,
however
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
the price of
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 famous could cost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
privacy and exposition. I am inclined
twards
Correct your spelling
towards
 to disagree that the
media
Use synonyms
 should not be allowed to do their job. The population gave fame to
celebrities
Use synonyms
, in exchange the
celebrities
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 should share
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
media
Use synonyms
 should have
dicernment
Correct your spelling
discernment
 and ethics. Some
news
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 could be really delicate, and
afected
Correct your spelling
affect
 the life
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 person ,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
diseases and legal problems. There are boundaries that should
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities
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 choose to be famous and there is no fame without
news
Use synonyms
. The public
people
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 show their lives on
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
 or
instagran
Correct your spelling
Instagram
 to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 their popularity and everyone nowadays could be the
media
Use synonyms
 with
Correct article usage
the adavantage
show examples
adavantage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 of social
media
Use synonyms
. Could be tricky not
allowed
Change the verb form
to allow
show examples
 the
jornalist
Correct your spelling
journalist
journalists
 to do their job
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 the population want the information. As in all
proffession
Correct your spelling
profession
professions
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ethics have to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance and respect
tricklish
Correct your spelling
ticklish
trickles
trickish
 subjects that could cause serious problems.
Submitted by amandaoliveirastylist on

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coherence cohesion
Create clear and distinct paragraphs for each main idea and support them with specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
Ensure your arguments are supported with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the writer's stance on the issue, setting up the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the idea of media ethics and the responsibilities of celebrities, showing a balanced view.
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