IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that living and working in the city offers more opportunities for a better quality of life, while others argue that working and living in the countryside brings greater benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #city #opportunities #quality #life #countryside
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, living and working in the
city
 is an option
that is
 chosen by many workers. It is argued that
this
 has more opportunities for a better quality of life, whilst others disagree and think working in the countryside is a superior choice.
This
 essay agrees that living in a
city
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 acceptable for healthiness. Working and living in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 urban area has more possibilities than ever before.
Additionally
, workers can go after coffee breaks or order food in any shops nearby and come back to
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
. It is
therefore
 agreed that living in the centre gives access to your needs. Uber Courier is an example of
this
;
this
 is an app where ordering couriers saves your time. 
However
, many disagree and think that living or working in the centre does not have more benefits because of the large number of cars, public
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
show examples
, and factories near urban areas, which is not healthy. Despite
this
, living in the countryside has fewer resources of items; there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a small count of shops that are far away, and
this
 essay disagrees that the countryside brings greater benefits.  In conclusion,
while
 there are benefits to living in a
city
, there is
also
 bad air quality and a lot of noise outside; some still feel that people should live far away from the
city
Submitted by akramkartzhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Strengthen paragraph development by providing more detailed examples or data to support points.
task response
Ensure all points are clearly and fully developed for maximum clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
Aim for clearer transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and reader understanding.
introduction conclusion
The essay opens with a clear introduction of the debate on city vs. countryside living.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and presents a clear stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: