IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and the amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and the amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the dynamics in ownership of electrical appliances and the amount of time spent doing
housework
Use synonyms
 in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. In 1920, 40% of households had a washing machine.
This
Linking Words
 number kept increasing
stably
Rephrase
steadily
show examples
 over the years until it reached 72% in 2019. Followed by
this
Linking Words
 is the vacuum cleaner, which started lower
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30%, but
then
Linking Words
 had a significant rise between 1940 and 1960, and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
all of the population had it by 2019.
However
Linking Words
, what stood out the most
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the refrigerator. In 1920, not a single
household
Use synonyms
owns
Wrong verb form
owned
show examples
 a refrigerator. Only
until
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1940 did 55% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 refrigerators. Every
household
Use synonyms
 eventually had a refrigerator by 2019.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
housework
Correct article usage
the housework
show examples
 rate kept decreasing over the
last
Linking Words
 decade,
due to
Linking Words
 the rise of ownership in electrical appliances. In 1920, each
household
Use synonyms
 had an average of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
50 hours of
housework
Use synonyms
 every week.
However
Linking Words
, the same can not be said by 2019, as it became only 10 hours per week. In conclusion, the increase of ownership
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 electrical appliances over the
last
Linking Words
 decade affects the number of hours put
by
Change preposition
in by
show examples
 the
household
Use synonyms
 in doing 
housework
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words housework, household with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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