IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

An increasing number of people are changing their careers. What are the reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development to society?

#people #careers #development #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 huge amount of individuals going to
change
Use synonyms
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and jobs. I suppose that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both sides
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 some pros and cons impacts
also
Linking Words
 they can be effective
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society and people's lives. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some beneficial
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 to
rose
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 the number of
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 their work.
It is clear that
Linking Words
, with
change
Use synonyms
 the
time
Change preposition
in time
show examples
 and
develope
Correct your spelling
development
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 technology
also
Linking Words
 AI, it can be seen that almost
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 number of jobs and works
belonged
Wrong verb form
belong
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
furthermore
Linking Words
 technology is
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
 cause to switch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult's job and their
carrers
Correct your spelling
careers
carers
carriers
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
ethnic
Add an article
an ethnic
show examples
 group
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
convert
Verb problem
change
show examples
 their job
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be made stronger
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 a connection in social life what is more communicating is the foremost point in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society and
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in a community.
For example
Linking Words
, when a person
interchange
Correct subject-verb agreement
interchanges
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 they able to learn new skills in different categories of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and they will be able to make a connection with other individuals in public places.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can be
seem
Correct your spelling
seen
show examples
 the amount of disadvantages in
this
Linking Words
 statment. In my view,
switch
Wrong verb form
switching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs and
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
need to
Verb problem
requires
show examples
 some
requiremnets
Correct your spelling
requirements
such
Linking Words
 as time, income and
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 attention to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in a different part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life. In case,
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 an understanding of recently developed can be
unbrekable
Correct your spelling
unbreakable
 to old individuals and they missed an
opportunety
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to
change
Use synonyms
 their work.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in both views there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
substantial
Add an article
a substantial
show examples
 proportion of advantages and
disadvantedes
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 topic that people need to convert their careers to develop and expand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by amir.bakhshi1010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clearer and more logical structure for your essay. Ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly without abrupt changes in ideas.
task achievement
Expand your use of specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and illustrate your points clearly.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas further by refining topic sentences and clearly linking your points to the main argument. This will enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing both the positive and negative impacts of career change.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes your viewpoint and revisits the main argument presented in your essay.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an awareness of both sides of the argument, making your discussion balanced and insightful.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: