The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.

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The bar chart illustrates the employment figures across five different job sectors in a specific region of Australia in the years 2001 and 2008.

Overall

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, So many people were working as salespeople the denominator of aggregation in

this

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trade gradually increased over a period of eight years and the number of troops in the farming sector gradually decreased.

According to

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the chart, we can see the figure for people who worked as salesmen was higher than 150.000 in 2001

however

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, the figure for aggregation was increasing and it exceeded 160.000 by 2008. The cardinal of accountants ranged between 60.000 and 80.000 in 2008 but, there was a decline in the band in

this

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sector, and the count of staff decreased to 60.000 by 2008. Looking at accounting and nursing corps, employment in these sectors was almost the same position and In both sectors, there were 60,000 companies in total in 2001. After a few years, their assemblage increased and there were almost 80.000 personnel in Computing, and the total cardinal body in nursing increased by approximately 5000 in 2008.

At the end

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of the chart, information about farming is located and its corps was almost 40.000 in 2001

However

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, In

this

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sector, the number of college cyphers decreased, and there were fewer than 20,000 gangs in 2008.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

217 words

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The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Today more an more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara desert or the antartic. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist to visit such places?