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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Throughout history, the ultimate goal of every action was always to improve
overall
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 health and life expectancy. Today with the advancement of science, the average
years
Use synonyms
 of
lifehas
Correct your spelling
life has
life
 increased significantly.
Although
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 some people believe that
this
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 is advantageous to everyone ,I strongly believe
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of
this
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 action outweigh the benefits to both the community and the government. the following two reasons will shed light on
this
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 matter.
To begin
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 with,
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 brings tremendously huge problems to governments.
For instance
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 an 80
years
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 old citizen probably unemployed and retired, and is only kept in life with numerous medications, is a significant financial loss for insurance companies and families with all the medication, in-patient and out-patient costs ,
thus
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Although
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 there is a responsibility of keeping the elderly safe at any cost, I reckon that insisting on increasing life
years
Use synonyms
 with pain and diseases has nothing but shortcomings and suffering.
Moreover
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,
this
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 widely prevalent phenomenon of extreme
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
also
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 requires emotional support from families and children.A lot of people's inability to move away from their parents
due to
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 various responsibilities to take care of them results in limitations to their whole family.
For example
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, imagine finding a perfect job position and being unable to pursue it just because of
this
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 situation, and
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otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 the feeling of guilty conscience would suffer all the relative siblings. In conclusion, over-aging with chronic diseases and suffering would definitely harm the governments and hurt
elderlies'
Replace the word
elderly'
show examples
 families.
Hence
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 I believe the shortcomings definitely override the merits and the optimum
years
Use synonyms
 of aging must have limits
according to
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 each person's health condition.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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