Some people think that success in life comes trom hard work and determination, while others think hot there are more infortant factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Whether being successful in life is a result of determination and hard

work

Use synonyms

or other elements

contribute

Correct pronoun usage

that contribute

show examples

to wealth or appearance is a highly debatable question. The writer believes that some other crucial elements play a much more important role than just pure conscientiousness and perseverance. It is vital to understand that an insane

work

Use synonyms

ethic with an unwavering attitude is undoubtedly essential to being successful in life.

It is clear that

Linking Words

to enhance the potential for career advancement, individuals need to show a certain amount of diligence and resoluteness.

For example

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, Kobe Bryant, one of the most successful basketball players of all time, is known for his insane

work

Use synonyms

ethic where he spent 8 hours per day to train and improve consistently for over 20 years.

Thus

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proving that hard

work

Use synonyms

is a vital element to success.

However

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, many components can play a key role in determining whether someone is successful or not. A well financial background can serve as a catalyst for propelling individuals forward, acting as a precursor to achieving greater milestones later in life.

Moreover

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, a polished appearance can significantly influence how someone is perceived.

This

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is how the Kardashian family is widely regarded as famous and influential because of their wealth and good looks.

Thus

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, giving them the edge that can be important in someone’s career potential. In conclusion, there are more aspects that play a key role in someone's success than just pure determination.

Hence

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this

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essay has proved that there are other factors that contribute to success than just a strong

work

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ethic and passion.

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task achievement

It may be beneficial to further expand upon and balance the support for both views. The essay leans slightly towards one perspective and could give more substantial examples for both positions.

coherence cohesion

A smoother transition between paragraphs can enhance the flow of the essay. Using transition words or phrases can help create a stronger link between ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which reinforces the main argument effectively.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as Kobe Bryant and the Kardashian family, are specific and relevant, adding depth to the discussion.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is solid, with a well-organized progression of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people think that success in life comes trom hard work and determination, while others think hot there are more infortant factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it’s depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You want to go camping for a week with a group of friends. Write a letter to the campsite manager. In your letter • ask them to send you some information about the campsite • find out about the cost • give information about your likely arrival time