Some people think that success in life comes trom hard work and determination, while others think hot there are more infortant factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether being successful in life is a result of determination and hard
work
Use synonyms
or other elements
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
show examples
to wealth or appearance is a highly debatable question. The writer believes that some other crucial elements play a much more important role than just pure conscientiousness and perseverance. It is vital to understand that an insane
work
Use synonyms
ethic with an unwavering attitude is undoubtedly essential to being successful in life.
It is clear that
Linking Words
to enhance the potential for career advancement, individuals need to show a certain amount of diligence and resoluteness.
For example
Linking Words
, Kobe Bryant, one of the most successful basketball players of all time, is known for his insane
work
Use synonyms
ethic where he spent 8 hours per day to train and improve consistently for over 20 years.
Thus
Linking Words
proving that hard
work
Use synonyms
is a vital element to success.
However
Linking Words
, many components can play a key role in determining whether someone is successful or not. A well financial background can serve as a catalyst for propelling individuals forward, acting as a precursor to achieving greater milestones later in life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a polished appearance can significantly influence how someone is perceived.
This
Linking Words
is how the Kardashian family is widely regarded as famous and influential because of their wealth and good looks.
Thus
Linking Words
, giving them the edge that can be important in someone’s career potential. In conclusion, there are more aspects that play a key role in someone's success than just pure determination.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay has proved that there are other factors that contribute to success than just a strong
work
Use synonyms
ethic and passion.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
It may be beneficial to further expand upon and balance the support for both views. The essay leans slightly towards one perspective and could give more substantial examples for both positions.
coherence cohesion
A smoother transition between paragraphs can enhance the flow of the essay. Using transition words or phrases can help create a stronger link between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which reinforces the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as Kobe Bryant and the Kardashian family, are specific and relevant, adding depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is solid, with a well-organized progression of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: