IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows key data on the demographics of four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows key data on the demographics of four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#data #demographics #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates the significant data related to
demographics
Correct article usage
the demographics
show examples
 of four
ntions
Correct your spelling
nations
 (
China
Use synonyms
, Russia,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and The
UK
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance,
it is clear that
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
 has the highest population, the
UK
Use synonyms
 has the lowest.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 GDP per Capita in the
USA
Use synonyms
 is in the highest
possition
Correct your spelling
position
,
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 has the highest average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life expectancy. It is evident that the population in
China
Use synonyms
, the
USA
Use synonyms
, Russia and the
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 are 1,357,000,000, 318,875,000 , 143,986,000
nad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 64,937,000 , respectively.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 has the lowest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population among
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 shown countries.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the GPD
show examples
GPD
Correct your spelling
GDP
 per Capita in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 is 6807$, it is the highest
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to those
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 nations.It is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 that,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 stays in the second
possition
Correct your spelling
position
 after the
USA
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 41787$.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the average life expectancy in the
UK
Use synonyms
 is 81.5, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Russia, it is almost a decade lower, by 72.3 years.
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
 has the lowest average life
expancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 69.2.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, in
Use synonyms
China
Add a comma
China,
show examples
 it is 75,2.
Submitted by mahanz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words china, usa, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic metrics
  • age distribution
  • urbanization levels
  • population growth rates
  • life expectancy
  • birth rates
  • immigration policies
  • economic development
  • geographical size
  • historical factors
  • health care systems
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • proportion
  • population size
What to do next:
Look at other essays: