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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows a number of tourists visiting a particular carribean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows a number of tourists visiting a particular carribean island between 2010 and 2017.
The line chart provides key information about
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
 numbers in
caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
show examples
 islands for the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017. The units are measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased despite people’s locations.
In addition
Linking Words
, the direction of tourists staying on cruises was increasing pattern throughout the
period
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
visitors
Use synonyms
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 on the island has a
period
Use synonyms
 of consistently.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruises visiting
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
 started roughly with 200,000 people and fluctuated to 500 thousand people for the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2013. After 2013, the number increased gradually by approximately 500 thousand per year until it reached its peak
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2 million
visitors
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. In terms of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on the island, started at 200,000
visitors
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 increased sharply to 1,5 million
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the graph showed
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 rate until 2015. After that, the figures showed
Correct article usage
a declined
show examples
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 to 1.2 million
visitors
Use synonyms
 after which it slightly elevated to the previous level.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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