The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

bar chart

makes

Verb problem

shows

show examples

data about the proportion of employees who worked in five industries:

Sales

Use synonyms

, accounting, computing, nursing and farming,in a single part of Australia in two different years, 2001 and 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, the highest numbers were experienced in

sales

Use synonyms

both

Use synonyms

years

whereas

Linking Words

farming showed the lowest results. Other types of jobs are picked by nearly similar percentages of workers. In 2001, farming was least popular among employed individuals at 21000,

while

Linking Words

sales

Use synonyms

were chosen by over 140000 of them. Regarding Computing and Nursing,they

both

Use synonyms

encouraged 50000 job seats. And Accounting was selected by around 60000 workers. In 2008,

Sales

Use synonyms

saw a gentle increase at over 160000

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and became the most famous profession during

both

Use synonyms

years, where Farming declined to 20000. For

both

Use synonyms

Nursing and Computing added amount numbers of workers at almost 60000 and 61000 respectively.

Finally

Linking Words

, accounting did not change much and stayed at

near

Change the word

nearly

show examples

60000.

makemoneyizzy16

Dec 16, 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, both with synonyms.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

150 words

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The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

Memorising facts is the most important way to succeed in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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