IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #technology #people #viewpoints
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technological advancements have had a demonstrable effect on modern society, especially with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to communication.
While
 some people believe that decreasing
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of hours for
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 the internet is the best method to make individuals more interact, others disagree with
this
 point of view and argue that there are many other ways to drive social connection which are more significant. On the one hand, many reasons why decreasing
number
 of
time
 in usage
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet can lead to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better interaction. Foremost among these is
due to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 social isolation which can occur lack of face-to-face
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interaction. Another reason is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 isolation from
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples
 of gadgets. Lack
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 depth relationships.
On the other hand
, other several measures are
also
 essential in order to global communication which ought to be considered as well.
To begin
, people can
use
 social networking in several prone which can lead to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 costs of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
For instance
,
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 can
remote
Change the word
remotely
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 by
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
show examples
such
 as Zoom and
Skypes
Fix the agreement mistake
Skype
show examples
.
In addition
, family connection despite distance.
For example
, young
junile
Correct your spelling
juvenile
jungle
 applying
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree abroad and they must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that country for a long
time
, which their parents can
use
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 to keep
stay
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in touch in daily life. In conclusion,
although
Change preposition
despite
show examples
 the myriad of reasons why decreasing
number
 of
time
 in usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media is the best way to
fostering
Wrong verb form
foster
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of community and social interaction might be pointless
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are other measures that should
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide. In my opinion, if internet users continue to increase
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 to build peer relationships in their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, the repercussions
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 innovations are going to be
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 and disastrous.
Submitted by benjawannsg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fostering
  • Global connections
  • Isolation
  • Diminished
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cultural and geographical divides
  • Paradox
  • Social media
  • Alienating
  • Family dynamics
  • Echo chambers
  • Polarize
  • Marginalized communities
  • Inclusivity
  • Maintaining relationships
  • Evolution of communication
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Technological advances
  • Collaboration
  • Remote isolation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: