Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In recent times, it is believed that spending money and time on the human population is better than investing in preserving wild
animals
. I partly agree with those arguments.
On the one hand, funding expenses to protect wild animals
is extremely essential. Wildlife protection can maintain the balance of the ecosystem. All animals
are connected in food chains. For
this
reason, When animals
have uneven population distribution, it leads to extinction, The natural balance will be disrupted, and ecosystems cannot be sustained. In addition
, The development of diverse ecosystems provides resources for several other fields such
as technology and medicine. This
means that protecting wild animals
discovers some new genetic resources to serve the development of biodiversity, that prevent epidemic crises and natural disasters.
On the other hand
, the human population is necessary to facilitate human development. When businesses receive investment, they can expand their operations and have the opportunity to create more job opportunities for people. This
helps reduce unemployment and improve living standards for workers. As businesses grow, their profits increase, which in turn improves the income of workers. Higher income leads to increased consumer spending, stimulating the growth of other economic sectors. Moreover
, Investing in various sectors to meet the needs of the people and improve their quality of life, such
as medicine, can build and upgrade hospitals, clinics, and medical centers
to provide higher quality healthcare services and improve teacher quality, professional qualifications, and teaching skills.
Change the spelling
centres
To sum up
, it is extremely necessary to protect wildlife and develop the country's economy. Protecting the environment and people will ensure a sustainable future for our society and the world.Submitted by anhpham.712688 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic and addresses both sides of the argument, which is excellent for achieving a high score in task achievement. However, it would benefit from more specific examples and clearer explanations in some parts. For instance, while you mention the benefits of protecting ecosystems and investing in human development, providing specific case studies or real-life examples would make your argument stronger.
coherence
While your essay is well organized and flows logically, there are some areas where the coherence can be improved. Specifically, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next will enhance readability. Adding clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also help guide the reader through your arguments.
cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and do a good job of framing and summarizing your argument. However, they could be more impactful by explicitly stating the stance you are taking and restating it conclusively in your conclusion. This will provide a stronger sense of closure and clarity.
coherence
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow your arguments. You've effectively used paragraphs to separate different points, which is a key aspect of coherent writing.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced and comprehensive approach to the task. This is a positive aspect of your task achievement.
general
Your vocabulary and sentence variety are strong, which contributes to the overall quality of the essay. This variety in language makes the essay more engaging to read.