IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give you own opinion.

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Nowadays, Most
governments
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 realize that economic progress is their very significant purpose.
However
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, several
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society
Change to a plural noun
societies
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 consider that other types of progress are particularly significant for a
country
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. these are interesting opinions. In
this
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 essay, I will provide some arguments on the matter. In
this
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 contemporary era, a
lot
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 of
governments
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 believe that economic
expansion
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 is their most crucial goal.
This
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 is because if economic rapid growth, there are a
lot
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 of advantages that can be felt by
society
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.
For example
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, when economic
expansion
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 accelerates, most people will feel benefits like, a
lot
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 of people become more prosperous, there are a
lot
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 of jobs
to
Change preposition
in
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 most
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society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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 and can reduce poverty levels and many other benefits. So,
governments
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 prioritize economic
expansion
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 to enhance living standards and societal well-being.
On the other hand
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, others think that other kinds of progress are
similarly
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 vital for a
country
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.
This
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 is
also
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 a true argument because they have a wide perspective, it is not only about economic
expansion
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, but there are several things that must be thought about in a
country
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's development because there are some aspects that ought to
think
Verb problem
be
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 by
government
Add an article
the government
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 like, education of students, the health of
society
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, the infrastructure of the
country
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 and many other. It is some aspects that have to be paid attention to by the government.
Thus
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, the government not only pays attention to economic growth, but they
also
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 should notice several factors to economic
expansion
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. In conclusion,
While
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 economic
expansion
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 is vital,
governments
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 must
also
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 consider other key factors for balanced and sustainable development.

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task response
To improve task response, make sure to expand on your own opinion more clearly in the conclusion and ensure that each paragraph addresses the essay question fully.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using a range of linking words to connect ideas better, ensuring more seamless transition from one point to another.
task response
You have presented both views logically and provided your opinion, meeting the requirements of discussing both sides.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, giving the essay a complete structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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