Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employment #age #right #lots #work

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Some

people

think that working after the age of 60 is wrong and causes many issues. They believe that

people

should stop working

after

this

age. I disagree with

this

idea because older

people

can still contribute to society, and working helps them stay active and healthy.

Firstly

people

over 60 have valuable experience and skills. They have spent many years learning and working, which makes them

eise

Correct your spelling

nice

rise

and knowledgeable.

For example

, an older teacher or doctor can guide younger workers and share their wisdom. If they stop working, society may lose

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

sustainability.

This

shows that older

people

can still be very useful.

Secondly

, working helps older

people

stay active and healthy. Many studies show that

people

who stop working feel lonely or bored. Work gives them a purpose.

For instance

, an older person working part-time has something to wait

each

Change preposition

for each

show examples

day.

This

keeps their mind and body strong. In conclusion, I believe

people

over 60 should be allowed to work if they want. They can share their experience with others and stay active. Forcing them to stop working would waste their skills and make them less healthy

Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on Mon Dec 16 2024

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You are visiting a town where you once worked. Write to a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: •Tell your friend about your life now. •Give him/her details of your visit. •Arrange how you can meet.

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?