Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employment #age #right #lots #work

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Some

people

Use synonyms

think that working after the age of 60 is wrong and causes many issues. They believe that

people

Use synonyms

should stop working

after

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

age. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea because older

people

Use synonyms

can still contribute to society, and working helps them stay active and healthy.

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

over 60 have valuable experience and skills. They have spent many years learning and working, which makes them

eise

Correct your spelling

nice

rise

and knowledgeable.

For example

Linking Words

, an older teacher or doctor can guide younger workers and share their wisdom. If they stop working, society may lose

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

sustainability.

This

Linking Words

shows that older

people

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can still be very useful.

Secondly

Linking Words

, working helps older

people

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stay active and healthy. Many studies show that

people

Use synonyms

who stop working feel lonely or bored. Work gives them a purpose.

For instance

Linking Words

, an older person working part-time has something to wait

each

Change preposition

for each

show examples

day.

This

Linking Words

keeps their mind and body strong. In conclusion, I believe

people

Use synonyms

over 60 should be allowed to work if they want. They can share their experience with others and stay active. Forcing them to stop working would waste their skills and make them less healthy

Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on Mon Dec 16 2024

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can be offer to deal with thi

Email is a fast and convenient way to communicate, and written letters aren’t needed anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?