IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.Do you agree or disagree

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The issue of long working days has been subjected to debate in recent times.
Infcat
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In fact
, in many
contries
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countries
 the
citizans
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citizens
 have asked for a longer
weekend
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 from the government. I strongly agree with the statement.
Firstly
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, it allows a
person
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 to
work
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 under less stress as he is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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freshened up during the
weekend
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.
it
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It
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 would
unlimately
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ultimately
 lead the employers to have
more
Add an article
a more
the more
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 efficient workforce in their organizations.It is
also
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 important to note that some
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work
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workplaces
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 places already started offering mental
wellbeing
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well-being
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day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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 off to their employees
additionally
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, to
work
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 remotely.
However
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, in the current
society
Add a comma
society,
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 most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
work
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 under
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of pressure.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 they tend to suffer from mental
ilnesses
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illnesses
such
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 as depression, anxiety and stress.
Moreover
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, having a longer
weekend
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 allows a
person
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 to spend more
time
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 with their family including their
children
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.In many countries
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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 under five years spend most of their childhood in
childcares
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childcare
childcarers
.
Eventhough
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Even though
 there are
govenment
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government
 subsidies, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
finacially
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financially
 struggle
due to
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the
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apply
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childcare fees. The most challenging fact
its
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is
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 that it eventually
distant
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distances
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children
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 from their parents as they spend less
time
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 with them.Not only
the
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apply
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younger
children
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 even
the
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apply
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adolecents
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adolescents
 frequently get attracted to activities
such
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 as
drucg
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drug
 addiction and violence,
due to
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 the lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention from
the
Change the word
their
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 parents.
Therefore
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 by having a longer
weekend
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 a
person
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 is able to spend
time
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 with their family members. In conclusion, working less number of days can enhance the individual's mental wellbeing.It facilitates the
person
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 to have more family
time
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.
Overall
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, it will lead them to have ultimate job
satisfacttion
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satisfaction
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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