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Band 4.5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pulpils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a school uniform?

#schools #school #uniforms #appearance #pulpils #dress #code #uniform
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Some schools adhere to strict rules and discipline regarding
school
Use synonyms
uniforms
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 and student appearance ,
however
Linking Words
 not all , as some of them prefer to
loose
Replace the word
lose
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uniforms
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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because
school
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 is our second home ,
moreover
Linking Words
 we should relax and feel
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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comfortable .  Advantages of
school
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uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
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:
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of the schools prefer dress codes , as
this
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 creates a unified picture and everyone can understand that there are no outsiders in
this
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school
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 ,
however
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 only
students
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 . The
school
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 uniform gives the
students
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 a more strict and serious look . They are
also
Linking Words
 used to avoid ridiculing and bullying other
students
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 because of their clothes , and so if there is a uniform,
then
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 in fact it is the same for everyone . When everyone wears the same attire , it minimizes the pressure to wear trendy or expensive clothing, fostering a sense of equality . Disadvantages of
school
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 dress code:
Firstly
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 is the impossibility of self-expression . Children , especially at the age of 14-16 , it is important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them how they look
like
Change preposition
apply
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, they always want to dress their own way .
Uniforms
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 deprive them of the freedom to express themselves ,
Correct word choice
and having
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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 their own style .
Then
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 of course it is comfort . Not all
uniforms
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 are convenient to wear every weekday .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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students
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 should spend their money to buy
uniforms
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 , which is
also
Linking Words
snag
Correct article usage
a snag
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 . In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 it should be said that everything has benefits and disadvantages,
as well as
Linking Words
uniforms
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 . I believe that every
school
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 has their own rules and if you are a student of
this
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school
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 , you should listen and follow
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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