In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon? •Technological improvements •Changes to education systems •Improvements to our diets Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause.

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Nowadays, generally, people are living more than past
also
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there are arguments about causes and categorised into three factors (technological developments, reform in education systems and upgrading to our diets). In my view, the most essential factor is inventions that occurred in the technological area because our diet is healthier and education cannot be very efficient. Thanks to
this
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world that always is finding solutions for difficulties
also
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an area
that is
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no exception is health and life expectancy.
By contrast
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length of life for citizens has increased during the
last
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decades,
due to
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, some developments
such
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as antibiotics and equipment for diagnosis that have been invented to remedy and
also
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take care of the sick population. In the past people needed to travel so far to be able to have access to doctors,
however
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, nowadays it is not that challenging because in all cities there are significant numbers of hospitals.
Additionally
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, near than two hundred years ago it was not possible to find out the real reason for infections or some diseases but now are able to find the number of devices designed for observing and finding out the main cause.
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, new medicine lets doctors suggest relative minerals and necessary elements that can help patients tackle their infections,
although
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in the past it was challenging because they were not aware of all the items that can cure infections. Other beliefs that are considered for help by these reformers are not that helpful because our diet has changed dramatically in a harmful way same as fast foods and very salty or sweaty items so
i
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I
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think the change in diet is not beneficial to the point and changes in the education system have helped just for a
while
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and let students be in touch with real materials,
nonetheless
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, it is not very positive. In conclusion, improving our life expectancy is an advantage offered by technological developments and I think these improvements let us live our lives more thanks to new medicines and instructions brought to us by inventing new items .
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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Structure & Coherence
Ensure a clear structure in the essay by dividing it into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Maintain coherence by connecting ideas smoothly.
Language Use
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly and accurately.
Content & Examples
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your analysis.
Task Response
You've effectively addressed the essay prompt by focusing on technological improvements, and acknowledging other factors briefly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a good flow of ideas and a logical structure, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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