IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Nowadays, more and more
people
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 around the world are suffering from high levels of
stress
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.
This
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 essay will discuss how job pressure and financial worries cause
this
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 issue and suggest that both employers and individuals should take action to solve it. One major cause of
stress
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 is the increasing pressure at
work
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. In the modern world, technology means that
people
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 are often expected to answer
work
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 emails even when they are at home.
This
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 makes it very difficult to relax and leads to mental exhaustion. Another reason is the rising cost of living. In many cities, the price of housing and food is very high, which makes
people
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 feel anxious about their money. When
people
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 worry about paying their bills, their
stress
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 levels naturally go up. To tackle
this
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 problem, companies should promote a better
work
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-life balance.
For example
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, managers should encourage staff to leave the office on time and not contact them during weekends. If employees have enough time to rest, they will be more productive and less stressed.
Additionally
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, governments could provide more mental health support and services to help those who are struggling. On an individual level,
people
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 need to look after themselves better. Doing regular exercise,
such
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 as running or swimming, is a great way to reduce tension.
Moreover
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, having a hobby can help
people
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 forget about their
work
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 worries. Even a short walk or a few minutes of quiet time every day can make a big difference to a person's mood. In conclusion,
while
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work
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 pressure and money problems are the main sources of
stress
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 today, they can be managed. By setting clearer boundaries at
work
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 and taking care of our physical health, we can reduce
stress
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 and lead happier lives.

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task response
Your essay has a good start and a clear plan. To raise score, add more depth, with more details or facts.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas smoothly and keep a clear order. Use simple words to show that one idea leads to the next.
task response
Clear view of causes and ways to fix the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Easy to read with good move from one idea to another.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Digital detox
  • Mindfulness
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Financial stability
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Resilience training
  • Support networks
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