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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph illustrates information about monthly revenue from retail a communication subscribers in four different continents, North America, Europe, Oceania and Asia.

The bar graph illustrates information about monthly revenue from retail a communication subscribers in four different continents, North America, Europe, Oceania and Asia.
The bar graph illustrates information about monthly
revenue
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 from retail
a
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apply
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communication subscribers in four different continents, North America, Europe, Oceania and Asia. The
revenues
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 are from monthly mobile
revenue
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, monthly
internet
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 and
data
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revenue
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 and monthly
telecommunication
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services
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revenue
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average monthly
telecommunication
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services
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revenue
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 is the highest among all
revenues
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 in all
countries
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while
Linking Words
 from monthly
internet
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 and
data
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revenue
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,
countries
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 get slightly lower amounts of
revenues
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
countries
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 get the lowest
amount
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 of
revenue
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 from monthly mobile
revenue
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. Australia receives the highest
amount
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 of
telecommunication
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services
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revenue
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 among all
countries
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 which is 109%
while
Linking Words
 in terms of
internet
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 and
data
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, Australia gets 78% of
revenue
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. Japan,
moreover
Linking Words
, gets the same
amount
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 of
revenue
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 for
telecommunication
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services
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 and the
internet
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 and
data
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 which is 105%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the USA and Canada get 90% and 87% of
revenues
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 respectively for
telecommunication
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services
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, Canada gets the highest
amount
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 of
revenue
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 from monthly mobile benefits among all
countries
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 which is 53%. Meanwhile, Italy gets the lowest
amount
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 of
revenue
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 in
this
Linking Words
 regard which is 23%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, revenues, internet, data, telecommunication, services, countries, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
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