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Writing Samples
Band 8

Homelessness is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of homelessness, and what are its effects on individuals and society? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In several nations these days, homelessness has become a pressing issue.
This
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 is mainly because of unemployment and family problems. There are a number of effects that can be noted because of
this
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 issue. One of the causes of
this
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 predicament is unemployment.
In other words
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, some individuals have fewer job opportunities because they do not have enough qualifications and required skills.
For example
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, in most companies these days,
people
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 are required to have computer skills, but if they do not have them, they will not be hired.
As a result
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, they most probably struggle financially and cannot pay rent. Another reason is family problems. When children have parents who suffer from divorce, they may run away from their homes and become homeless. There are two effects of homelessness.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 will experience poor health.
That is
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 to say, homeless individuals often face barriers to accessing health care
due to
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 financial constraints, lack of insurance, or social stigma.
For instance
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, some
people
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 who sleep on the street suffer from skin diseases, and in some cases, their conditions worsen because they are uncared for.
Secondly
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,
people
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 will suffer from low self-esteem. When
people
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 do not have a place to stay, they will eventually lose motivation and confidence.
As a result
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, they prefer to isolate themselves
instead
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 of mixing with others.
To sum up
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, having poor health and low self-esteem are the two effects of
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 problem. If the government provides more job opportunities and raises awareness about the importance of family relationships,
this
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 may help reduce the problem.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples from different countries or studies to strengthen the main points. For instance, mentioning statistics or reports related to homelessness would give your essay more depth and reliability.
coherence cohesion
You may add more linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'on the contrary', etc.) to better show the connections between your ideas and make your writing more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next one, possibly by introducing the main idea at the beginning of the paragraph and summarizing it more clearly at the end.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and discusses both causes and effects, providing a well-rounded view of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear: introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of specific reasons and examples, such as the impact of unemployment and family issues on homelessness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homelessness
  • economic instability
  • affordable housing
  • mental health disorders
  • social support
  • substance abuse
  • chronic illnesses
  • social isolation
  • community support
  • economic burden
  • public resources
  • public safety concerns
  • domestic violence
  • job loss
  • addiction
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