Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that mandatory

sports

Use synonyms

activities are needed to reduce the occurrence of overweight among children. I completely agree that

school

Use synonyms

administration plays an important role in maintaining adolescent's health. The argument in favour of making physical and outdoor activities mandatory by the

school

Use synonyms

authorities often depends on government subsidies to keep them going, which means that children will never get a chance to avoid active classes.

For example

Linking Words

, The Guardian newspaper conducted meticulous research in March 2033 and stated that in 6 out of 10 cases of overweight issue in learners was

due to

Linking Words

the absence of specific time for their body movements at both homes and schools. Owing to

this

Linking Words

, after adopting

this

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trend, students can burn some extra calories and ultimately curb the fat-enhancing factors.

In addition

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, physical education teachers cannot only help to identify the appropriate game for them, but they can

also

Linking Words

assist in selecting a healthy diet related to a reduction of fat consumption for better endurance.

Furthermore

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

a minute change can bring numerous other weight-reducing benefits in pupils' lives and predominantly, they can adopt a healthy lifestyle for their whole life. To elucidate, when

sports

Use synonyms

are unavoidable at

school

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and their impact will be shown on the final marks sheet, students will try to maintain a high spirit to perform well and they may attain

this

Linking Words

by adopting a disciplined lifestyle.

For instance

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, as per the annual report of

last

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year by the World Health Organisation, 55% of elementary

school

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players had been observing tremendous change in their sedentary habits

as well as

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lipid reduction since their institutions caused them to take part in

sports

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon can be a good method for fat trimming.

To conclude

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, I agree with

this

Linking Words

phenomenon that by making

sports

Use synonyms

and outdoor activities unavoidable for young people ,

this

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change can be the best method for adipose tissue reduction by enduring a distinctive way of living.

kiqueenie95Wed Dec 18 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all examples and statistics provided are realistic and credible. The mention of 'The Guardian' in 2033 could confuse readers since it’s set in the future.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving grammatical accuracy and variety to elevate language use.

task achievement

The essay effectively uses examples and research data to support the arguments made, which strengthens the response significantly.

coherence cohesion

The organization of the essay is excellent, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs each focusing on a single main idea, and a concise conclusion.

task achievement

A persuasive and well-structured argument is presented throughout the essay, demonstrating a strong command of the topic.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that industrial growlh is necessory to solve poverty, bul some other people argue that industrial growth is creating environmentol problems ond it should be stopped. Discuss both views ond give your opinion.

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree