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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the distance covered in various modes of transport.

The table shows the distance covered in various modes of transport.
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The table compares the distance covered
in
Change preposition
by
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 various modes of transport in 1985 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2000
people
Use synonyms
 covered distance more than in 1985 in all modes of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. As the table shows,
people
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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walked more in 1985 than in 2000, 255 and 237, respectively. In 1985
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to travel by bicycle more than in 2000, 51 and 41. In 2000
people
Use synonyms
 moved by car
2806
Change preposition
by 2806
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km,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 1985
people
Use synonyms
 traveled by car
3.199
Change preposition
by 3.199
show examples
km. Local buses
have
Verb problem
were
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 used more in 1985 than in 2000, 429km and 274km, respectively. In 1985
people
Use synonyms
 traveled by
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
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 buses less than in 2000, 54km and 124km. In 2000
people
Use synonyms
 preferred
travel
Add the particle
to travel
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 by bus more than in 1985, 289km and 366km.
Taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
Taxis
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had
Verb problem
were
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 used more in 2000
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than in 1985,
13
Change preposition
at 13
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km and 42km, respectively. Other vehicles in 2000 used 585km,
while
Linking Words
 in 1985 was used for 450km. All modes
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 used in 2000 more than in 1985, 4740km and 6475km, respectively.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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