The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#data #earnings #three #bakeries #calgary #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The line graph below illustrates information about

annual

Correct article usage

the annual

show examples

incomes of three different bakeries in Calgary between 2000 and 2010.

Overall

, Amandine

bakery

Capitalize word

Bakery

show examples

has the highest earnings and Mari

Bakeshop

has the fewest earnings

at the end

of the period .

Also

, the revenue at the beginning changed rapidly , some decreased dramatically,

some

Correct word choice

and some

show examples

increased . Looking at the details , Bolo

bakery

Capitalize word

Bakery

show examples

in 2000 had

fewest

Correct word choice

the lowest

show examples

total

income

but it changed over

these period

Change the determiner

this period

these periods

show examples

, so it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

steadily grew

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Also

, Amandine

bakery

Capitalize word

Bakery

show examples

at the beginning didn’t

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

the highest earnings too . But , after 2005 it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started

Add the particle

started to

show examples

climb up .

As a result

this

, the highest year total

income

has

this

bakery

However

, Mari

Bakeshop

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2000 had

80,000

Correct article usage

an 80,000

show examples

dollar

income

for

year

Add an article

the year

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

was more than

others

Correct article usage

the others

show examples

. But , after 2005 ,

while

others

income

increasing

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

, Mari

Bakeshop

started falling down . It

Verb problem

has

show examples

declined to 40,000 , so

this

Bakeshop

became

Verb problem

apply

show examples

has the fewest revenue .

Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on Wed Dec 18 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words bakery, bakeshop, income with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Computers today can quickly and accurately translate languages; therefore, it is a waste of time to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks' holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.