IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows burglaries per thousands in four different countries between 2000 2009. Summarize the information and make comparison where relavent.

The line graph shows burglaries per thousands in four different countries between 2000 2009. Summarize the information and make comparison where relavent.
#line #burglaries #thousands #four #countries #information #comparison #relavent
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line chart illustrates
burglaries
Use synonyms
 per
thousand
Use synonyms
 in four different countries from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
burglaries
Use synonyms
 in Great Britain fluctuated throughout the period and
finally
Linking Words
 experienced a decline.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
burglaries
Use synonyms
 in Greece experienced an
increase
Use synonyms
,
burglaries
Use synonyms
 in Spain and Norway experienced a decrease. In 2000,
burglaries
Use synonyms
 in the UK stood at around 16
thousand
Use synonyms
, and in 2001, it experienced a sharp
increase
Use synonyms
 and reached
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 20
thousand
Use synonyms
. In 2004, after a rapid decrease, it reached roughly 15
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, after a sharp rise and
then
Linking Words
 a sharp decline, in 2009,
burglaries
Use synonyms
 reached around 15
thousand
Use synonyms
. In Greece, from the year 2000 to 2005,
burglaries
Use synonyms
 remained almost stable and after a slight
increase
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reached roughly 8
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
Then
Linking Words
, after another
increase
Use synonyms
,
burglaries
Use synonyms
 in Greece reached around 14
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2009. Meanwhile,
Burglaries
Use synonyms
 in Spain, stoot at approximately 6 thousands, and it increased to around 7 thousands.
Then
Linking Words
, it experienced a sharp decrease, and in 2009, it reached around 4
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
burglaries
Use synonyms
 in Norway started from roughly 7
thousand
Use synonyms
 and from 2003 to 2007 remained stable at around 5
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, it slightly increased to 6
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words burglaries, thousand, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: