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Band 4.5

Some people think only best students should be rewarded. Others think we should reward students who make progress. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #students #reward #progress
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It is thought by some giving gift to people who is studious is the greatest way
whereas
 other individuals believe that
gift giving
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gift-giving
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students
 who make develop. I totally agree with
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 topics. In pursuit of higher education, in my
view
Add a comma
view,
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 the foremost impact
in
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on
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students
 who
being
Verb problem
apply
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a perfect and studious
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 is competition in healthy
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 in their university or school.
In addition
,
competiting
Correct your spelling
competing
competition
 in different categories of education can be effective on
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 of a society
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
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for instance
 the huge proportion of
students
competive
Correct your spelling
competitive
compete
 with others in some special
feilds
Correct your spelling
fields
 in their country
such
 as technology, AI,
Correct word choice
and engeeniaring
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engeeniaring
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engendering
also
this
 competition can make a
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 between
students
 and
this
 topic certainly aid to country become more modernised and development. the other beneficial point for
best
Correct article usage
the best
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students
 could be gifted is
make
Verb problem
apply
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a
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apply
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motivation
to
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apply
show examples
students
furthermore
 one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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of be
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for being
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 motivated is progress.
On the other hand
, gift giving to best
students
 has some detrimental impacts what is more there are some cons of
this
 issue. In my words, nowadays more countries becoming
a
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apply
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sedentary
society
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societies
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also
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the contemperary
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contemperary wolrd
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contemporary world
 is
an
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apply
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another
cuase
Correct your spelling
cause
case
to
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of
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 decrease in fee of hours that community spend the time reading and learning their literacy. One of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to
overcoming
Change the form of the verb
overcome
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this
 complication is
reward
Fix the infinitive
to reward
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students
 who
make
Verb problem
apply
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develop
additionally
developing
Verb problem
apply
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in different types of
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
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 or
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
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can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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made
Change the verb form
be made
make
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 a
more
Change the word
apply
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healthier and
technology during
Replace the word
technological
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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world. In sum
up
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apply
show examples
, both sides have some advantages and disadvantages what is more
competitng
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competing
 and
coaprating
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cooperating
competing
 in some areas
such
 as science and
oppointment shuld
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appointment should
 give a hand to
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
also
 it can be effective in
make
Change the form of the verb
making
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 a connection and
communiting
Correct your spelling
communicating
community
 with other public.
Submitted by amir.bakhshi1010 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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