Some peop/e think it is no longer necessary /'or children fo go fo school because ffiey can do all their learning on//ne. Others gei/ev’e learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give yot/r opinion.

#peop #e #children #fo #school #ffiey #gei #ev’e #schools #yot #r

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In these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days, there is ongoing debate regarding educational methods. In

consequence

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consequence,

show examples

opinions are divided, some sections of society hold an opinion that online education is enough to secure their learning,

whereas

others consider that it is still important

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

presence in school. I absolutely agree with

this

latter point and

this

essay

contents

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contains

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some of my main reasons. As far as children studying online, there are several arguments to support the notion of learning

throught

Correct your spelling

through

throughout

the internet.

This

idea has been supported by the fact that any subject can be found in the network.

For example

, if a teenager wants to specialize

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show examples

Videogame development, there are several resources available,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

if a kid wants to be an

artists

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artist

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or a language teacher, many videos, courses or

text

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texts

show examples

will be online.

However

, as

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show examples

see

this

, children still

need

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need to

show examples

develop social skills and learn how to live in society. The first and foremost reason to advocate that learners must be present at school centres is social skill development.

In other words

, childhood should be shared with some equals, as

this

is important even to tell what

menas

Correct your spelling

means

doing the right thing or the wrong one in community.

Additionally

, helping each other is relevant

wether

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

to reach collective or individual achievements.

For instance

, countries like Japan or Finland where people grow up

issolated

Correct your spelling

isolated

, do not see

neighbors

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neighbours

show examples

nor

colleages

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colleagues

as support,

while

other countries like Argentina, Chile and Uruguay base their learning

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show examples

how you relate with other people, and

this

becomes

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apply

show examples

a very united

comunity

Correct your spelling

community

. In conclusion,

although

there are

who

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those who

show examples

support the idea of online education as

suficient

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sufficient

to cover complete knowledge,

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show examples

must insist that youth need

Fix the infinitive

to share

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experiences with more people.

Therefore

, how to get close

with

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show examples

others is

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show examples

skill that

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

be found on

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

Submitted by dannyrrng33 on Thu Dec 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly sets out both sides of the argument and your opinion, which it does nicely here. Continue to refine your reasoning and examples so they clearly relate directly to your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical progression of your ideas by using linking words to show the relationship between points more thoroughly.

coherence cohesion

While you have a solid conclusion, try to ensure all parts of your argument are fully integrated and supported throughout your essay.

task achievement

Your essay provides specific examples that effectively strengthen your points, such as referring to different countries and their approaches to education.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion of your essay are clear and align well with your main argument.

task achievement

You provide strong reasons why you think in-person schooling is important, focusing particularly on social skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Some peop/e think it is no longer necessary /'or children fo go fo school because ffiey can do all their learning on//ne. Others gei/ev’e learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give yot/r opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, truancy* is a serious problem for both parents and teachers. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part In organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.