Some peop/e think it is no longer necessary /'or children fo go fo school because ffiey can do all their learning on//ne. Others gei/ev’e learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give yot/r opinion.
In these
days, there is ongoing debate regarding educational methods. In Change preposition
These
consequence
opinions are divided, some sections of society hold an opinion that online education is enough to secure their learning, Add a comma
consequence,
whereas
others consider that it is still important their
presence in school. I absolutely agree with Change preposition
to their
this
latter point and this
essay contents
some of my main reasons.
As far as children studying online, there are several arguments to support the notion of learning Replace the word
contains
throught
the internet. Correct your spelling
through
throughout
This
idea has been supported by the fact that any subject can be found in the network. For example
, if a teenager wants to specialize on
Videogame development, there are several resources available, Change preposition
in
as
if a kid wants to be an Correct word choice
apply
artists
or a language teacher, many videos, courses or Fix the agreement mistake
artist
text
will be online. Fix the agreement mistake
texts
However
, as i
see Change the capitalization
I
this
, children still need
develop social skills and learn how to live in society.
The first and foremost reason to advocate that learners must be present at school centres is social skill development. Add the particle
need to
In other words
, childhood should be shared with some equals, as this
is important even to tell what menas
doing the right thing or the wrong one in community. Correct your spelling
means
Additionally
, helping each other is relevant wether
to reach collective or individual achievements. Correct your spelling
whether
For instance
, countries like Japan or Finland where people grow up issolated
, do not see Correct your spelling
isolated
neighbors
nor Change the spelling
neighbours
colleages
as support, Correct your spelling
colleagues
while
other countries like Argentina, Chile and Uruguay base their learning in
how you relate with other people, and Change preposition
on
this
becomes in
a very united Change preposition
apply
comunity
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
community
although
there are who
support the idea of online education as Correct determiner usage
those who
suficient
to cover complete knowledge, Correct your spelling
sufficient
i
must insist that youth need Change the capitalization
I
share
experiences with more people. Fix the infinitive
to share
Therefore
, how to get close with
others is Change preposition
to
an
skill that Change the article
a
could not
be found on Wrong verb form
cannot
internet
.Add an article
the internet
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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly sets out both sides of the argument and your opinion, which it does nicely here. Continue to refine your reasoning and examples so they clearly relate directly to your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical progression of your ideas by using linking words to show the relationship between points more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
While you have a solid conclusion, try to ensure all parts of your argument are fully integrated and supported throughout your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides specific examples that effectively strengthen your points, such as referring to different countries and their approaches to education.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are clear and align well with your main argument.
task achievement
You provide strong reasons why you think in-person schooling is important, focusing particularly on social skills.