IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that medical insurance prices are overpriced. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss the reasons for your choice.

#people #insurance #prices #choice
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While
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 we live in the modern era medicine is being more developed. And there are some people who argue about the
price
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 of medical
insurance
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 indicating its high
price
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. In my opinion, I agree with those people because the
insurance
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 values are being overpriced. First of all, one of the main reasons for getting the
insurance
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price
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 high is
companies
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' greed. Medical
companies
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 that wish to ensure some extra money may go to increasing the
insurance
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price
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 to take their own customers' money.
Consequently
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, the
insurance
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 value will be higher than normal resulting in some negative effects
like
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apply
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impacting the economy negatively.
Secondly
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, some governments have the same greed as the medical
companies
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.
As a result
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, those governments force their people and folks to pay higher money by raising the
insurance
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 prices to steal them. Research established by the University of MIT in 2009 indicated the truth of some government greed like The Uganda government and South Africa, one of the consequences was the increase in
insurance
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 prices.
To conclude
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, the prices of medical
insurance
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 are extremely increased. One of the causes is the medical
companies
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’ greed and
also
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 some other governments that act like those bad
companies
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.
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task achievement
Expand on each of your points with further details and examples where applicable. Provide a more comprehensive discussion on why you believe medical insurance prices are overpriced, considering various perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring a smoother progression of ideas. Use more linking words to connect your arguments seamlessly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Refer to current data or case studies to bolster your claims.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains a consistent stance throughout the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic, and the conclusion succinctly wraps up the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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