Some people think that parents have an powerful influence in child's life, while the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part of child's development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #influence #child #life #home #part #development

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The is no denying the fact that some individuals

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

parents

got

Verb problem

have

show examples

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

kid's

Correct article usage

a kid's

show examples

life

While

it is a commonly held belief that external impact outside

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

has more influence

Change preposition

show examples

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

development, there

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that outside the

home

plays

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

role in

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

life

To begin

with, children spend most of their

time

outside

Correct pronoun usage

their homes

show examples

homes

Fix the agreement mistake

home

show examples

, which

apslotly

Correct your spelling

aptly

reflects on their

life

In other

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

kids stay in school

Change preposition

for more

show examples

than 8 hours and

this

is more than what they spend with their parents.

In addition

, friends in school or the gym change

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

behaviour because of

long

Add an article

a long

the long

show examples

time

they have together and the similarity in ages.

For instance

, getting information from your peer might be accepted more than your father. Another point to consider, we are in

social

Correct article usage

the social

show examples

media era, and they have the most influence. It is possible to say that even

the

Correct word choice

if the

show examples

child's

Change noun form

child

show examples

stayed

Wrong verb form

stays

show examples

house

Correct your spelling

home

show examples

new platforms will take most of his

time

Moreover

, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

many

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

stories in social media that impact young's to do more.

For example

, watching a video for the story of establishing the big companies in our world

tought

Correct your spelling

taught

kids about

enterpenore

Correct your spelling

intervenor

and

start up

Add a hyphen

start-up

show examples

companies

life

, which encourages them to establish in the future. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that outside

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

the biggest influence

for

Change preposition

show examples

young's development because of the

time

they spend outside

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

and

also

the more stories

Change preposition

show examples

the new platforms.

Submitted by abdallah550603 on Thu Dec 19 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear stance and the main points are well-supported. However, ensure that you fully develop each point with more specific examples or explanations to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Try to maintain more consistency in your tense usage and correct minor spelling errors like 'beleive' to 'believe' and 'apslotly' to 'absolutely'.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a strong introduction that clearly presents the writer's opinion.

coherence cohesion

The essay logically progresses with reasons to support the viewpoint.

task achievement

You have effectively pointed out real-world examples of how external influences can shape a child's development.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Some people think that parents have an powerful influence in child's life, while the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part of child's development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say the feeling of competition should be encouraged in children while others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?