IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today´s
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
 the concept of "living the moment" that stems from the mentality of the "Y" and "X" generation has been widely spread.
This
Linking Words
 includes a change of
paradigma
Correct your spelling
paradigm
 in the way
money
Use synonyms
 is spent, in comparison with our parents´s model.
Therefore
Linking Words
, few people, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters, think of the future, economically speaking.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that saving for tomorrow is
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
 recommended in order to enjoy
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 in the future. To start with, I consider that financial education should be taught from a very early age.
This
Linking Words
 type of knowledge should be included not only in schools but introduced at homes as well.
For example
Linking Words
, many couples give their children a monthly
ammount
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
money
Use synonyms
 that they must be able to administrate during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Consequently
Linking Words
, those girls and boys gain not only a sense of
independance
Correct your spelling
independence
 but
develop
Rephrase
also develop
show examples
 a healthy and conscious
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 sophisticated era where several investment options are
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
,
such
Linking Words
 as bitcoins, real
state
Correct your spelling
estate
show examples
, stock market, and so on, the flow and expert management of those alternatives becomes essential.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to those tools is not that friendly for everyone. But, fortunately, hiring a broker or even using apps or tutorials that help us to make our financial decisions, are available to almost everyone. Just to give an example, there exist
especific
Correct your spelling
specific
 applications that guide us to buy and
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 on the digital
money
Use synonyms
 market.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I
firmely
Correct your spelling
firmly
 believe that,
besides
Linking Words
 the fact that it is important for our physical and mental health to invest our incomes in lifetime experiences
such
Linking Words
 as trips and
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 to indulge ourselves in order to reach a good balance in our daily lives, saving for the future will bring us too peace and oxygen, in case we may face some "rainy days".
Consequently
Linking Words
, in my opinion, we can not deny today the
significancy
Correct your spelling
significance
 of acquiring the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
manageing
Correct your spelling
manage
 our gains and patrimony.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are consistently relevant and specific to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between points by using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which successfully summarize your main ideas about the importance of saving money.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, particularly in discussing financial education.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: