It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today´s
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
the concept of "living the moment" that stems from the mentality of the "Y" and "X" generation has been widely spread.
This
includes a change of
paradigma
Correct your spelling
paradigm
in the way
money
is spent, in comparison with our parents´s model.
Therefore
, few people, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters, think of the future, economically speaking.
Nonetheless
, I strongly believe that saving for tomorrow is
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
recommended in order to enjoy
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
in the future. To start with, I consider that financial education should be taught from a very early age.
This
type of knowledge should be included not only in schools but introduced at homes as well.
For example
, many couples give their children a monthly
ammount
Correct your spelling
amount
of
money
that they must be able to administrate during
this
period.
Consequently
, those girls and boys gain not only a sense of
independance
Correct your spelling
independence
but
develop
Rephrase
also develop
show examples
a healthy and conscious
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
.
Secondly
, in
this
sophisticated era where several investment options are
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
,
such
as bitcoins, real
state
Correct your spelling
estate
show examples
, stock market, and so on, the flow and expert management of those alternatives becomes essential.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to those tools is not that friendly for everyone. But, fortunately, hiring a broker or even using apps or tutorials that help us to make our financial decisions, are available to almost everyone. Just to give an example, there exist
especific
Correct your spelling
specific
applications that guide us to buy and
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
on the digital
money
market.
To sum up
, I
firmely
Correct your spelling
firmly
believe that,
besides
the fact that it is important for our physical and mental health to invest our incomes in lifetime experiences
such
as trips and
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
to indulge ourselves in order to reach a good balance in our daily lives, saving for the future will bring us too peace and oxygen, in case we may face some "rainy days".
Consequently
, in my opinion, we can not deny today the
significancy
Correct your spelling
significance
of acquiring the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
manageing
Correct your spelling
manage
our gains and patrimony.
Submitted by laura.trevino.ar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are consistently relevant and specific to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between points by using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which successfully summarize your main ideas about the importance of saving money.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, particularly in discussing financial education.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: