Every man has a right to proper healthcare. However, private hospitals nowadays are so profit-oriented that they are distracted from providing proper healthcare facilities. In your opinion, is this profit-making tendency a hindrance to proper healthcare ?
healthcare system is
one
of the basic needs which should be available for all people
. while
these days some of the private hospitals
changed their rules to get a better profit from people
. I overwhelmingly disagree with this
mindset .
one
of the main reasons for this
is the reduced level of the healthcare system , which leads to the spread of the disease more quickly. When people
notice that , they can not pay for their treatment to recover themselves this
incident motivates them to leave their healing process and as a result
, the rate of the disease will be significantly increased . Moreover
, people
are extremely worried about being sick by knowing how much they have to pay to the hospitals
.
financial burden is another critical factor . In private hospitals
people
have to pay a huge number of their money to receive better care
otherwise
no one
really pays attention to them . This
perspective can create a lot of concerns around this
aspect of these places which , encourages people
to work hard or ask help from other people
to one
day receive the best possible care
. Moreover
, it significantly affects their well-being and mentality . When someone after a long time still can not pay the cost of such
basic facilities how he should hope for a better future this
leads to an increase in the number of people
who are struggling with depression and frustration .
In conclusion , some people
argue that these hospitals
should be only related to the people
who are rich to take care
of them completely . I strongly reject this
notion . It is true that such
places offer high-quality care
, but when they are especially allocated to specific people
how we can argue that we are providing this
system for all of the people
.
I believe that by managing the payment of Change the punctuation
?
such
places we can somehow control them . Healthcare is one
of the most essential parts of over lives and we should prepare it for all people
.Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly defines the stance and sets the stage for a structured argument. Consider adding a thesis statement that encompasses your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs in a more coherent way by explicitly linking ideas and using transitions to improve the flow between arguments.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear stance against the profit-oriented nature of private hospitals and supports it with multiple arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a sense of closure and summarizing key points.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both the economic and emotional impacts of profit-driven healthcare, showcasing an understanding of the issue.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.