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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this ia unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #ia #arguments #side #support
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spending free time is one of the most debated topics .
While
 some
people
 argue that students should be with their families,
others
 contend that they should be free to choose what they really want to do . I overwhelmingly agree with the second mindset . Interaction is one of the main reasons for it which , is a common belief among the majority of
people
 . When
children
 spend a significant amount of their time with
others
 , they learn how to start conversations with unfamiliar
people
 which , leads to growth in their confidence to make a real impact on
others
' lives.
Moreover
, it creates environments where
children
 have opportunities to be exposed to new and innovative ideas to shape their personalities in front of the challenges that they are struggling with . I firmly believe that the advancement of well-being is another critical thing that should not be overlooked . when these
children
 are with other
people
 they unconsciously learn how to pay attention to their bodies and become more aware of their health system and the things that are useful for them or not .
Additionally
 , it helps them to reduce their concerns and worries that they have . When these
people
 are talking with their friends they can see their challenges form different ways that they have never thought about them ,
this
 in turn , leads them to be more open-minded in the middle of chaotic conditions . some
people
 argue that bringing with other
people
 can distract the attention of their
children
 by encouraging them to be a part of some immoral actions .
However
 , I strongly reject
this
 notion . It's true that sometimes they can create a lot of challenges for the
children
, but at the same time they teach our babies how to deal with them and
others
 can enhance their critical thinking are an integral part of our lives . In conclusion ,
children
 are one of the most essential parts of over lives and by guiding them in the right way we can ensure that they are flourishing in the correct way not by over-protecting them .
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, illustrating how spending time with family or others can be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one, and maintain a consistent structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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