Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Having money in abundance does not mean that one will be satisfied. I completely agree with that statement.
Firstly
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, to earn a higher income, people have to work longer hours at the expense of their physical and mental well-being. Some individuals who wish for a higher salary put extreme effort into their job, and work overtime to earn extra bonuses or try their best to receive promotions for better wages.
However
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,
this
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may take a toll on their mental health as they are always under large amounts of stress to perform their best every day, and failure is unacceptable.
Moreover
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, working extended hours will result in less time for exercise, which can increase the risk of diseases
such
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as diabetes, obesity, and coronary heart disease.
For instance
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, many office workers sit all day long without much exercise.
This
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resulted in a large number of workers developing illnesses that affected their work performance.
Secondly
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, certain individuals become greedy for even more cash
,
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and may resort to illegal means to prosper. Not everyone will be contented with what they have and will wish for more. Some are even willing to break the law to gain wealth. It is very common for businessmen to constantly take bribes, commit fraud or embezzlement as they believe that their own salary is not good enough.
Therefore
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, even with a large sum of finances, they will never be happy with it and always crave more. In conclusion, I believe that having a large amount of funds does not contribute to success or fulfilment in life. In fact, I think that it may hinder us from achieving happiness
due to
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the drawbacks of earning income.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction; this helps the reader understand your view from the start.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly and help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
Try to develop your examples more fully by explaining how they support your points; this adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relate well to the topic, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth
  • happiness
  • emotional well-being
  • financial status
  • interpersonal relationships
  • personal fulfillment
  • material possessions
  • stress and anxiety
  • cultural differences
  • collectivist cultures
  • social bonds
  • true happiness
  • inner peace
  • contentment
  • mindfulness
  • gratitude
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