Zoos are seen an important institutions for the conservation of wildlife for educating the public about animals. Do you think it is important for children to visit zoos? Do you think children should learn about animals through zoos rather than other sources such as documentaries and books.

The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
commonly believe that
zoos
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
play a crucial role in educating people about wildlife.In my opinion, visiting
zoos
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
essential for
children
due to
they can
hand-out
Correct your spelling
hand out
show examples
learning
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and raise awareness about
protect
Change the form of the verb
protecting
show examples
animals
, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
also
think that both
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
about
animals
through
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
and documentaries or
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
equally
Add a missing verb
are equally
show examples
important. (53)
Firstly
,
children
learn about the animal
knowleges
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledges
through attend
zoos
isessential
Correct your spelling
is essential
essential
,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
some people who do not enjoy reading
Add an article
a book
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
,should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
visit
zoos
in order to inspire their
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
and enhance their grades.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
we all know, there are plenty of
animals
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
and with the
introduce
Replace the word
introduction
show examples
at the outside of animal’s home
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when the combination with
vival
Correct your spelling
viral
animals
and
knowleges
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledges
is easier
remeber
Correct your spelling
remember
than simply read books.
Furthermore
,
due to interesting
Change preposition
interest
show examples
is the best teacher and we
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
addict to real
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
photographs of
animals
that might
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
students
try
Fix the infinitive
to try
show examples
to focus on
book
Correct article usage
a book
show examples
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they do not want to read before or search
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
information about these
animals
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
, No surprises,their grades will be improve. Another important advantage for
children
to
visit
zoos
is that raise awareness about
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
animals
due to
there are large amount of
cherish
Wrong verb form
cherished
show examples
animal and endangered
animals
and
zoos
always introduce the experience of their through
signal
Fix the agreement mistake
signals
show examples
.
In other words
,
zoos manager
Fix the agreement mistake
zoo managers
show examples
not only simply show the life of wildlife but
also
popularize the process of
animals
turn
Wrong verb form
turning
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
endangered
animals
and how
reduce
Add the particle
to reduce
show examples
the total amount.
Therefore
, most
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will be action from refuse
wear
Fix the infinitive
to wear
show examples
fur clothes.
Finally
,In my opinion, books
also
are good
tools
to learn
Change preposition
for learning
show examples
about
animals
.Too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
students to
zoos
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
satisfied
Change the verb form
satisfy
show examples
the demand of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
just
Correct pronoun usage
who just
show examples
want to study
relvant knowlege
Correct your spelling
relevant knowledge
through
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
zoos
.
therefore
,
zoos
act as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important supplement and other education
tools
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
and
realize to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help
children
learn about
animals
.
To sum up
,
zoos
and other educational
tools
,
such
as documentaries,are in the same boat when it comes to teaching
children
about
animals
.
children
should
striking
Change the verb form
strike
be striking
show examples
a balance between
through
Replace the word
visiting
show examples
visit
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
show examples
and
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
other educational
tools
to study
relvant
Correct your spelling
relevant
knowledge.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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writing
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement.
task
Support your points with more specific examples. For instance, instead of just stating that zoos can educate, mention a specific educational zoo program you've heard of.
coherence
Provide a clearer introduction and more defined conclusion to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task
The essay contains a strong argument on the importance of zoos in raising awareness about animal conservation.
task
You have placed emphasis on both zoos and other educational sources having their individual importance in learning.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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