Zoos are seen an important institutions for the conservation of wildlife for educating the public about animals. Do you think it is important for children to visit zoos? Do you think children should learn about animals through zoos rather than other sources such as documentaries and books.

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The
Correct your spelling
They
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commonly believe that
zoos
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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play a crucial role in educating people about wildlife.In my opinion, visiting
zoos
are
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is
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essential for
children
due to
they can
hand-out
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hand out
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learning
experience
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experiences
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and raise awareness about
protect
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protecting
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animals
, but
i
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I
show examples
also
think that both
learn
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learning
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about
animals
through
zoo
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zoos
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and documentaries or
book
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books
show examples
equally
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are equally
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important. (53)
Firstly
,
children
learn about the animal
knowleges
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledges
through attend
zoos
isessential
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is essential
essential
,
specially
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especially
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some people who do not enjoy reading
Add an article
a book
the book
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book
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books
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,should
to
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apply
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visit
zoos
in order to inspire their
interesting
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interest
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and enhance their grades.
as
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As
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we all know, there are plenty of
animals
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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zoos
and with the
introduce
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introduction
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at the outside of animal’s home
,
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apply
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when the combination with
vival
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viral
animals
and
knowleges
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knowledge
knowledges
is easier
remeber
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remember
than simply read books.
Furthermore
,
due to interesting
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interest
show examples
is the best teacher and we
always
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are always
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addict to real
animal
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animals
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rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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photographs of
animals
that might
leads
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lead
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students
try
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to try
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to focus on
book
Correct article usage
a book
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what
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that
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they do not want to read before or search
more
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for more
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information about these
animals
in
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on
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google
Capitalize word
Google
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, No surprises,their grades will be improve. Another important advantage for
children
to
visit
zoos
is that raise awareness about
protect
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protecting
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animals
due to
there are large amount of
cherish
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cherished
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animal and endangered
animals
and
zoos
always introduce the experience of their through
signal
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signals
show examples
.
In other words
,
zoos manager
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zoo managers
show examples
not only simply show the life of wildlife but
also
popularize the process of
animals
turn
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turning
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to
Change preposition
into
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endangered
animals
and how
reduce
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to reduce
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the total amount.
Therefore
, most
student
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students
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will be action from refuse
wear
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to wear
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fur clothes.
Finally
,In my opinion, books
also
are good
tools
to learn
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for learning
show examples
about
animals
.Too
much
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many
show examples
students to
zoos
could not
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cannot
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satisfied
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satisfy
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the demand of
student
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students
show examples
just
Correct pronoun usage
who just
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want to study
relvant knowlege
Correct your spelling
relevant knowledge
through
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
zoos
.
therefore
,
zoos
act as
a
Change the article
an
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important supplement and other education
tools
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
and
realize to
Verb problem
apply
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help
children
learn about
animals
.
To sum up
,
zoos
and other educational
tools
,
such
as documentaries,are in the same boat when it comes to teaching
children
about
animals
.
children
should
striking
Change the verb form
strike
be striking
show examples
a balance between
through
Replace the word
visiting
show examples
visit
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
show examples
and
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
other educational
tools
to study
relvant
Correct your spelling
relevant
knowledge.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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writing
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement.
task
Support your points with more specific examples. For instance, instead of just stating that zoos can educate, mention a specific educational zoo program you've heard of.
coherence
Provide a clearer introduction and more defined conclusion to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task
The essay contains a strong argument on the importance of zoos in raising awareness about animal conservation.
task
You have placed emphasis on both zoos and other educational sources having their individual importance in learning.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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