IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write a report with this question: The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011.

Write a report with this question: The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011.
#report #bar #media #people #age #groups #news #country
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The bar chart illustrates the types of social media that
people
Use synonyms
 from different groups of age prefer to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to hear or read about everyday news in specific
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 radio had the highest proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 micro-blogging had the lowest number of society who were using it. On the one hand , the percentage of society who were using the radio started from 40% to peaked at approximately 90% which was a significant increase
then
Linking Words
 started decreasing to reach amount 88% of
people
Use synonyms
 who are above 65
years
Use synonyms
 old.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , in terms of using social media , at the beginning, there were 80 % of
people
Use synonyms
 who used it
then
Linking Words
 it started decreasing over the
years
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to reach the lowest amount which was 10%.Micro-blogging had a stable proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who used it ,
people
Use synonyms
 who are 10-17
years
Use synonyms
used
Correct word choice
old used
show examples
 it more than other ages which was 20% of them ,
whereas
Linking Words
 just 1% of 65+
years
Use synonyms
 old used it.
Submitted by fatmalfarsi09 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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