The average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of this and suggest some remedies to solve this problem.
Obesity is one of the biggest problems of the age.
Although
many people
try to live in dynamic lifestyle, dozens of millions of community
suffer from Fix the agreement mistake
communities
overweight
, as they live in passive lifestyle with oily meals and without doing exercises. From my Add a missing verb
being overweight
prespective
, most of the Correct your spelling
perspective
people
,who have
Verb problem
are
overweights
have no eating schedules or do not go to Replace the word
overweight
the
sports centres to lose their fat.
There are several cases of getting overweight, in spite of the main exposition is living inactively. Since working with modern technological devices requires spending Correct article usage
apply
time
a lot, people
consume junk food and do not do any activities to save their time
. For example
, people
, who sit near PCs cannot go to the fitness rooms, as they do have not enough time
to go. Additionally
, they want to save their time
with
eating fast food. Change preposition
by
As a result
, they get extra masses instead
of reduce
them.
One of the best ways to solve Change the verb form
reducing
this
problem is advertise
active life. As bodies cannot eat healthy meals and go to the sports facilities after hard work, companies should create interest among workers to do exercises to eat natural food. Fix the infinitive
to advertise
For example
, if employers give 15 or 20 minutes of free time
to do physical activities, workers will do them without any tiredness. Moreover
, create
facilities to get healthy meals Wrong verb form
creating
also
helps to reduce fat. Therefore
, directors should give some leisure time
to their employees.
In conclusion, although
many people
cannot avoid obesity and extra weight, doing exercises actively at work helps to reduce it. From my perspective, opening sports rooms will decrease the number of people
, who suffer from obesity.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
Clarify some supporting points and make connections clearer.
task achievement
Ensure that each idea in your response is fully developed.
task achievement
The essay presents some interesting ideas about the causes of obesity and possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, providing a structured response.