IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Despite better education , some adults are unable to write and read. What are the disadvantages people are having? What should the governments do to avoid this?

#education #adults #people #governments
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Some group of people in older age has problems with literacy even if
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 educational system is provided. The main reason could be the destructive cognitive development. I think to solve
this
 problem authorities should provide additional funds to ensure educational organizations with people who are professional in
psychological
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the psychological
show examples
 field. Without a doubt
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our population has some
adults
 with brain
disfunction
Correct your spelling
dysfunction
show examples
 which affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their literacy skills.
This
 problem usually appears from school
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 or even from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth.
This
 is more recognizable to kindergarten and elementary teachers who are responsible
to
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for
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 behavior.
This
 psychological issue
is became
Wrong verb form
becomes
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 worse
by
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with
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 age as it
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
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 with human
gene
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genes
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. Governmental action is necessary to solve the issue related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 mental health. Professional specialists who are responsible to identify and treat should be provided by authorities. Psychologists,
for example
, can help
adults
 to fix their problems and encourage them with reading and writing skills. These steps should be realized in practice by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to solve brain
disfunction
Correct your spelling
dysfunction
show examples
 in
adults
. In conclusion,
although
 our society has some
adults
 with poor cognitive development which
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
 difficult to solve in action,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide educational organizations with necessary people who are
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 in
psychological
Add an article
the psychological
show examples
 field specifically.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define the problem at the beginning. The introduction lacks a clear statement of the issue.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions and logical connections between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every point made is explicitly linked to the conclusion for stronger argumentation.
task achievement
The essay identifies the issue of literacy problems among adults and suggests potential solutions clearly.
coherence cohesion
Both an introduction and a conclusion are included, providing a frame for your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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