Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organized after school activities. do you agree or disagree?

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Children

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may benefit from being independent after

school

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as opposed to following a structured lifestyle. I partially agree that freedom is helpful in boosting creativity and minimising health-related risks. Structured lifestyles often fail to provide enough independence to grow and develop the mindset of every child, even if it tries to shape their well-being.

In other words

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, after

school

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children

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need

time

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to refresh their brains with recreational

activities

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to acquire given knowledge effectively.

Additionally

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activities

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for people who are already taking

school

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subjects may be challenging tasks as

children

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have a tendency for entertainment, potentially leading to health-related risks

due to

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an overload of studies.

Therefore

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, organized schedules for daily life may not support every child, both mentally and physically. Being free after

school

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may produce creativity among

children

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because of having enough

time

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to accept information properly. Unless

children

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are not allowed to engage in leisure

activities

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children

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are not able to unearth their talents and show their potential in reality.

Secondly

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, an unstructured life will highly allocate

time

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with their parents, helping to build boundaries and create strong relationships between each other, releasing depression and other mental disabilities.

Finally

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children

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can avoid isolation since those who have organized plans cannot communicate with strangers and feel more isolated

due to

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their certain plans to do for a day and lack of

time

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for getting around and participating in classes, volunteering work, and parties.

Thus

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, being free for

children

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after

school

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can develop their unknown capabilities. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

organized day might ensure productivity. I believe that

school

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activities

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are enough to provide basic skills and others are improved during a lifetime in the long run.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat Jan 18 2025

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument or point, with explicit links between ideas to improve logical structure.

task achievement

In the second paragraph, clarify how unstructured time specifically enhances creativity with more precise examples.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, contributing to reader understanding.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and shows a balanced view, enhancing task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organized after school activities. do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of population who are aged at 15 or younger. What is your opinion of the current and future effects it may have in those countries

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contract between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.