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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007
#visitors #three #areas #european #country
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The graph illustrates how many
tourists
 visited three different places in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Overall
, the number of
visitors
 who visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
coast
steady
Change the word
steadily
show examples
 increased from
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Although
, the amount of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 visiting the
mountains
go
Wrong verb form
has gone
show examples
 up sharply, a decline observed over the
last
 five years. The
lakes
 were less popular among
of
Change preposition
apply
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tourists
at the end
 of the
period
. In 1987, the
cost
Correct your spelling
coast
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 was the most popular destination with 40,000
visitors
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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followed by the
mountains
 with 20,000 and the
lakes
 with 10,000
tourists
. By 2002, the
tourists
Correct quantifier usage
number of tourists
show examples
 who visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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the lake surged dramatically, surpassing both the
coast
 and the
mountains
 at approximately 70,000
visitors
.
However
, after reaching
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 peak, the
lakes
 saw a significant decline,
dipped
Wrong verb form
dipping
show examples
 to approximately 50,000
visitors
 in 2007.
In contrast
, the amount of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to the
coast
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
steady rise
Replace the word
steadily rose
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 throughout the
period
 and reached 75,000 by 2007. Meanwhile, the
mountains
 demonstrated
Correct article usage
a gradually
show examples
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 increase and finished the
period
 with 35,000
visitors
 in 2007. In conclusion, the line graph compares different three places: the
coast
 maintained its popularity, the
mountains
 demonstrated
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 rise,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
lakes
 met
noticeable
Correct article usage
a noticeable
show examples
 decline after a boom.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, visitors, coast, period, mountains, lakes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
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