IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think having more TV channels is good because they will have more choices. While other people think too many TV channels only lead to a lot of poor quality TV programs. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #tv #channels #choices #quality #programs
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Over recent years, more and more
people
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 have differing ideas as regards
to
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apply
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the relationship between
quality
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 and quantity of the number of
TV
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channels
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. One side says having more
TV
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channels
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 is better for more choices,
while
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 others argue that the quantity causes a lack of
quality
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 on
TV
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channels
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. I would argue that focusing on more productive and knowledgeable
channels
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instead
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 of its amount has benefits.
Firstly
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, from my point of view, we need to understand how important it is what
people
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 watch on television
channels
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.
According to
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 the statistics of the Media Research Institute, there is a big connection between the mindset of
people
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 and which
TV
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 series or shows they watch on a normal day, not only that, but
also
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, it
influences
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also influences
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 to behaviour of
people
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.
For example
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, between 2011 and 2014, there were some popular
programs
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 on television about intelligence competitions, and
as a result
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, the number of
people
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 starting university increased during that period. Another possible reason is that implementing
such
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programs
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 that have beneficial effects on
people
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 encounters some difficulties
due to
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 the investment and stimulation made for the
programs
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. It is undeniable that making more
programs
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 for
TV
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 needs a lot of financial aid,
nevertheless
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, we can reduce the number of
programs
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 to increase the
quality
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 of those.
For instance
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, if we distribute our budget to a lot of
channels
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, we will achieve neither scenario
quality
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, nor a successful program for
people
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. In conclusion, considering the investment issues and
connection
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the connection
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 between the type of
programs
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 and
people
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's mentality, I have come to the conclusion that it is more necessary to stimulate fewer
TV
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channels
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for doing
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to do
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 a great job.
Submitted by elmiribrahimli377 on

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task achievement
Expand on the counterarguments to show a balanced view. Include a few sentences that argue for the advantages of having more TV channels and how increased variety can potentially benefit viewers.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring more fluid transitions between ideas, and improve logical flow by connecting ideas more directly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that address both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the increase in university enrollments during the intelligence competition program era, are well utilized.
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