Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?

#ex-prisoners #crimes #prison

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The issue of es-prisoners committing crimes has become a major concern for society. I believe

this

Linking Words

happens because they lack sufficient

job

Use synonyms

opportunities

Use synonyms

in the

market

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

situation, I think the

government

Use synonyms

should pay close attention to it and take proactive measures to address

this

Linking Words

problem. One key reason is that these former offenders do not have enough

job

Use synonyms

opportunities

Use synonyms

. Many of them spend a long time in prison and struggle to catch up with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social and technological developments. After being released, they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

often find it hard to study the knowledge and master the experience needed in the

job

Use synonyms

market

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as work-related skills.

As a result

Linking Words

, they cannot find employment and support themselves, which often leads them to

reoffend

Correct your spelling

re-offend

Therefore

Linking Words

, acquiring enough

job

Use synonyms

opportunities

Use synonyms

is essential to prevent

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

from reoffending. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem, I suggest that the

government

Use synonyms

allocate funds and educational resources to support

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

First,

Linking Words

it is

improtant

Correct your spelling

important

to fund the training programs that can teach the

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

skills and knowledge needed in the

market

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cooking, nursing, and mechanical repair. The

government

Use synonyms

can create a list of training courses based on participants' interests. After

completed

Wrong verb form

completing

show examples

the courses, companies and social organizations can be encouraged to hire qualified ex-convicts.

Additionally

Linking Words

, financial incentives,

such

Linking Words

as tax breaks, could be offered to the institutions that recruit

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

. With the proper training and education, I believe the

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

can gain enough

opportunities

Use synonyms

in the

job

Use synonyms

market

Use synonyms

In conclusion, the lack of

job

Use synonyms

opportunities

Use synonyms

can easily drive

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

to commit crimes again. The

government

Use synonyms

should take an active role in solving

this

Linking Words

issue by allocating funds and educational resources.

Submitted by universe.edge on Fri Dec 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence correction

Make sure to eliminate small spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.

task correction

Consider providing more specific examples to back your points more robustly.

coherence praise

The essay's structure includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework.

coherence praise

Good use of reasoning to explain why job opportunities are essential for ex-prisoners.

task praise

The suggestion of government initiatives to support ex-prisoners is well articulated.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at school. Write a letter to one of your old teachers asking for a reference. In your letter: say what job you have applied for explain why you want this job suggest what information the teacher should include
How are you? I hope everything is fine at the school and that you have been well. I still remember the dynamic way in which you taught grammar to me and all of the teacher trainees in your English class. Thanks again for those important lessons.
8
band
write a letter to your manager ask for some time off to complete a qualification
Hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter to ask you for one week time off from work.
<4
band
Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their chuldren’s Study. On the contrary , those online games have produced a lot of negative effect on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion
A number of parents believe that computer games do not bring benefits to their children's study. Moreover, it may have negative consequences to their mental and physic health. I fully agree with this statement due to online games make children lazier and more aggressive.
4.5
band
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society has to care for more and more elderly people.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society has to care for more and more elderly people. In my opinion I think that society will be able to cope with the increase of elderly people. One of the main aspects is that society need to pay attention to old people. To tackle this problem people should cooperate together. This maybe the easiest and so the best way to help elderly people.
5
band
Topic: robots and artificial are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why this is happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?
In era of information technology, all human have been reached the high level in development and taking measure into human's life from industrial technology until nowadays. Robots and artificial intelligence are examples for results as achievements but besides, there is still some issues that scientists can unexpected.

Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

write a letter to your manager ask for some time off to complete a qualification

Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their chuldren’s Study. On the contrary , those online games have produced a lot of negative effect on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society has to care for more and more elderly people.

Topic: robots and artificial are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why this is happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?