Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?

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The issue of
ex-prisoners
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committing
crimes
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has become a major concern for society. I believe
this
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happens because they lack sufficient
job
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opportunities
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in the market.
Therefore
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, the
government
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should pay close attention to
this
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issue and take active measures to solve the problem. One reason is that
ex-prisoners
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do not have many
job
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opportunities
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after being released. Many of them spend a long time in prison and struggle to catch up with social and technological developments, especially in work-related skills.
As a result
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, they lack the knowledge and experience needed in the
job
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market, making it hard for them to find employment and support themselves.
This
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situation often leads them to commit
crimes
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again.
Therefore
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, having enough
job
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opportunities
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is essential to prevent
ex-prisoners
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from reoffending. To solve
this
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problem, I suggest that the
government
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allocate funds and educational resources to help
ex-prisoners
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acquire
job
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skills.
First,
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it should fund training programs that teach essential skills needed in the
job
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market,
such
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as cooking or nursing. The
government
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could create a list of training courses based on participants’ interests. After completing these courses, companies and social organizations could be encouraged to hire qualified
ex-prisoners
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.
Additionally
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, financial incentives could be offered to businesses that recruit them. With proper education and training, I believe
ex-prisoners
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can gain enough
job
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opportunities
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and support themselves again. In conclusion, the lack of
job
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opportunities
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can drive
ex-prisoners
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to commit
crimes
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again. The
government
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should take an active role in solving
this
Linking Words
problem by allocating funds and educational resources, helping
ex-prisoners
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return to society and rebuild their family lives.Some
ex-prisoners
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commit
crimes
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after being released from prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?
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task achievement
Include more examples or evidence to substantiate the points about lack of skills and impact on crime relapse.
task achievement
Consider expanding on how financial incentives for businesses could be effectively structured or implemented.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words to enhance the flow between paragraphs, ensuring a smoother reading experience.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, clearly highlighting the main points and summarizing the problem and solution effectively.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is effectively maintained, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect related to the causes and solutions of the issue.
task achievement
The proposed solution of providing training programs and incentives shows a good understanding of a practical approach.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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