Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words

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Food
products
are
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
by adding
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significant amount of sugar which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
many health issues
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
citizens. To overcome these challenges, it is suggested that the price of food and drinks should be increased
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
a high extent so that
purchasing
Correct article usage
the purchasing
show examples
power of
people
can be reduced.
However
, I do not agree with
this
statement because making sugary consumed items expensive is not a valuable solution. There are some other ways too.
Advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
Advertisements
show examples
play a crucial role by
awaring
Correct your spelling
awarding
people
regarding
ingredients
Correct article usage
the ingredients
show examples
a product
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
. In the past the commercials only
emphasis on
Correct your spelling
emphasised
show examples
product features but these days they provide details of
products
.
For example
, advertisements inform consumers the percentage of ingredients a
prodcut
Correct your spelling
product
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
show examples
as well as
the
calories
Fix the agreement mistake
calorie
show examples
count and warn how much they can consume in a day. Which is an
eye opener
Add a hyphen
eye-opener
show examples
for consumers. By reading a clear label insist
people
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
consume a product in a given amount to avoid obesity and heart problems.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
can
also
contribute by implementing strict regulations for manufacturers.
For instance
, a fixed amount of sweetness should be fixed for production. If there
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
restrictions, companies will
Add a missing verb
be affraid
show examples
affraid
Correct your spelling
afraid
to void the rules which will technically
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Additionally
,
doctors
can
also
guide their patients to reduce the
consumpation
Correct your spelling
consumption
of higher sugar
contain
Change the form of the verb
containing
show examples
products
.
People
listen to their
doctors
, whatever
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
they believe that
due to
the trust they have. So
doctors
can encourage those who have
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
history of diabetes and
obestity
Correct your spelling
obesity
by
explaning
Correct your spelling
explaining
the outcomes they can get if they
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
not stop the soft drinks and sweet cookies.
Thus
,
this
will be a great initiative to shape the thinking of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
society. In conclusion,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle comes from balanced eating. To remove the problems of diabetes and obesity increasing the prices of food
products
is not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
sole solution.
Awarness
Correct your spelling
Awareness
by advertisements, fixing
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
show examples
of sweetness
as well as
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
advice can bring new changes.
Submitted by kb781920 on

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your work for minor spelling and grammatical errors such as 'producted' instead of 'produced.'
task achievement
Ensure each point is fully developed with specific and detailed examples, particularly when discussing government regulations and doctor advice.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed multiple perspectives on the issue, showing an understanding of various aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between paragraphs helps convey your argument clearly to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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