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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. ▪Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. ▪Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 data chart provides an idea about the amount of times that three applications were downloaded from the World Wide Web across 5 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, ActiveX kept a high and steady rate of
downloads
Use synonyms
, Whilst Net was Fluctuating and Java steadily rising throughout the time frame given. ActiveX was the most downloaded data Package, starting with around 60
downloads
Use synonyms
 at 1 and shooting up to more than 80
downloads
Use synonyms
 on
week
Use synonyms
 2, following that, a steady rate between 80 to 120 in the next 3 weeks. Java started off at a little over 40
downloads
Use synonyms
 on
week
Use synonyms
 1
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 And kept on steadily raising that number up to a little over 80
downloads
Use synonyms
 on
week
Use synonyms
 5.
Although
Linking Words
 Net began with a little under 40
downloads
Use synonyms
 on
week
Use synonyms
 one, it began to slowly fall down to around 20
downloads
Use synonyms
 on
week
Use synonyms
 three
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 But caught up and started to rise again to over 40
downloads
Use synonyms

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words downloads, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Number of times
  • Per week
  • In thousands
  • Five weeks
  • Computer packages
  • Downloaded
  • From the internet
  • Summarize
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Trends
  • Peaks and troughs
  • Figures
  • Popular
  • Overall
  • Patterns
  • Anomalies
  • Sudden spikes
  • Declines
  • External factors
  • Influenced
  • Download trends
  • Marketing campaigns
  • Software updates
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