IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, many
countries
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 have become increasingly similar
due to
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people
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 now can easily purchase the same items from other places in the world. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development because some local businesses may close and fail,
additionally
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, some may lose their cultural
identity
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. On the one hand, multinational corporations may be leading to some challenges for small businesses and local shops. Big brands nowadays are very popular because
people
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 recently want to be fashionable and cool which caused several issues for some local shops in some
countries
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.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia,
people
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 buy their clothes from only globally famous shops in order to be trendy unfortunately, lots of local stores shut down
due to
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 no one buying from them.
On the other hand
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, another problem is that many
people
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 these days from advanced
countries
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 have lost their cultural
identity
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. Everything now is extremely similar
such
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 as clothes, houses and even how
people
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 communicate because everything in modern life encourages
people
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 to do the same things which causes many
people
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 to lose their culture and
identity
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 in order to follow the Western culture.
For instance
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, Japanese
people
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 now are wearing and using foreign
products
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 and even they have changed their home design because of the impact of modern life and no longer use the unique traditional
products
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 they used to have and even some of them do not know Japanese’ culture and traditional events because of influences by the Western civilization. In conclusion, the increasing similarity between
countries
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 has a negative impact on the development of these
countries
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 because purchasing the same
products
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 regularly by different
people
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 from different regions may cause some
people
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 to lose their
identity
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due to
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 their do not wearing or using their local
products
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, and
also
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 it results in some local stores closed because no one uses these
products
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 anymore.

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task achievement
Although your ideas are clear, try to develop them further by providing additional examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are equally developed to maintain balance in the essay. Some points could be expanded for clarity.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and effectively supports it with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the reference to Saudi Arabia and Japanese culture, strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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