IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, many
countries
 have become increasingly similar
due to
people
 now can easily purchase the same items from other places in the world. In my opinion,
this
 is a negative development because some local businesses may close and fail,
additionally
, some may lose their cultural
identity
. On the one hand, multinational corporations may be leading to some challenges for small businesses and local shops. Big brands nowadays are very popular because
people
 recently want to be fashionable and cool which caused several issues for some local shops in some
countries
.
For example
, in Saudi Arabia,
people
 buy their clothes from only globally famous shops in order to be trendy unfortunately, lots of local stores shut down
due to
 no one buying from them.
On the other hand
, another problem is that many
people
 these days from advanced
countries
 have lost their cultural
identity
. Everything now is extremely similar
such
 as clothes, houses and even how
people
 communicate because everything in modern life encourages
people
 to do the same things which causes many
people
 to lose their culture and
identity
 in order to follow the Western culture.
For instance
, Japanese
people
 now are wearing and using foreign
products
 and even they have changed their home design because of the impact of modern life and no longer use the unique traditional
products
 they used to have and even some of them do not know Japanese’ culture and traditional events because of influences by the Western civilization. In conclusion, the increasing similarity between
countries
 has a negative impact on the development of these
countries
 because purchasing the same
products
 regularly by different
people
 from different regions may cause some
people
 to lose their
identity
due to
 their do not wearing or using their local
products
, and
also
 it results in some local stores closed because no one uses these
products
 anymore.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Although your ideas are clear, try to develop them further by providing additional examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are equally developed to maintain balance in the essay. Some points could be expanded for clarity.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and effectively supports it with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the reference to Saudi Arabia and Japanese culture, strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: