IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many agricultural lands are being converted into commercial centres. How does this affect the environment and the people’s lifestyle? Discuss this situation and provide suggestions to address these issues. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

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With the advancement of technology and modernization, fields are being replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping malls, flyovers and in new
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartments
. Not only
this
Linking Words
,
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
climate change but
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
put
Verb problem
apply
show examples
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population health. I am going to explain the conditions and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem in upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, worldwide global warming becoming the top
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 decreasing farmlands. To explain,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of factories, housing,
outlets
Correct word choice
and outlets
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 responsible for
deforestion
Correct your spelling
deforestation
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result,
green houses
Correct your spelling
greenhouses
show examples
 and farms are
decling
Correct your spelling
declining
 at
drastic
Add an article
a drastic
the drastic
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 which
further
Linking Words
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
 on livinghood items
such
Linking Words
 as green leafy vegetables, organic food and etc.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
native
Fix the agreement mistake
natives
show examples
 accept new challenges of unemployment and traffic in their local communities because rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 prefer to migrate for new opportunities and standard
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 conducted in
cananda
Correct your spelling
Canada
 which shows that 40% of citizens lost their jobs because huge travellers
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 started work over there.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
.
Correct article usage
The Goverenment
show examples
Goverenment
Correct your spelling
Government
 should take a step forward to retain the
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 lands and motivate
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to grow more and more trees. Either it is essential for food and
shelther
Correct your spelling
shelter
 or income as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the gardens, parks and
fileds
Correct your spelling
fields
,
Add a missing verb
are helpful
show examples
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
 to maintain the atmosphere
temperture
Correct your spelling
temperature
 and keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society happy and healthy.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the authority should force laws and rules on migrating visitors from other nation so locals can live
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 fruitful life respectively.
To conclude
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
although
Linking Words
 new
coming
Verb problem
apply
show examples
inventions
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 life easier for
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
 negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on their lives. Eventually, they can use the sources and services but in the limit.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main ideas to provide a roadmap for the reader.
relevant specific examples
Include specific, relevant examples to support your main points more effectively.
logical structure
Work on organizing ideas logically and using clear paragraphs for each distinct idea or argument.
complete response
The essay presents a thoughtful discussion on the conversion of agricultural lands to commercial centers and its impacts.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reflects on the overall implications of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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