Many agricultural lands are being converted into commercial centres. How does this affect the environment and the people’s lifestyle? Discuss this situation and provide suggestions to address these issues. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

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With the advancement of technology and modernization, fields are being replaced by
the
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shopping malls, flyovers and in new
appartments
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apartments

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. Not only
this
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,
impact
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impacts

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on
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climate change but
aslo
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also

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put
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influence
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influences

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on
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apply

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population health. I am going to explain the conditions and solutions
of
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to

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this
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problem in upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
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, worldwide global warming becoming the top
most
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reason
of
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for

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decreasing farmlands. To explain,
invention
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the invention
an invention

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of factories, housing,
outlets
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and outlets

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are
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is

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responsible for
deforestion
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deforestation

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. As
the
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a

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result,
green houses
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greenhouses

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and farms are
decling
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declining

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at
drastic
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a drastic
the drastic

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level
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levels

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which
further
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impact
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impacts

The plural verb impact does not appear to agree with the singular subject drastic level. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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on livinghood items
such
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as green leafy vegetables, organic food and etc.
Secondly
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, the
native
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natives

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accept new challenges of unemployment and traffic in their local communities because rural
area
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areas

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prefer to migrate for new opportunities and standard
lifestyle
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lifestyles

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.
For example
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, a survey
is
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was

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conducted in
cananda
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Canada

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which shows that 40% of citizens lost their jobs because huge travellers
are
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have

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started work over there.
On the other hand
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, there are some solutions
of
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to

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this
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problems
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problem

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.
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The Goverenment
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Goverenment
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Government

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should take a step forward to retain the
agriculture
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agricultural

The word agriculture doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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lands and motivate
public
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the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to grow more and more trees. Either it is essential for food and
shelther
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shelter

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or income as well.
Moreover
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, the gardens, parks and
fileds
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fields

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,
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are helpful
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helpful
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help

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to maintain the atmosphere
temperture
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temperature

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and keep
the
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society happy and healthy.
Whereas
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, the authority should force laws and rules on migrating visitors from other nation so locals can live
thier
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their

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fruitful life respectively.
To conclude
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that
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apply

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although
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new
coming
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inventions
making
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make

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life easier for
population
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the population

The noun phrase population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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but
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apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

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it
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they

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aslo
Correct your spelling
also

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put
Verb problem
have

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negative
effect
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effects

It seems that effect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on their lives. Eventually, they can use the sources and services but in the limit.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main ideas to provide a roadmap for the reader.
relevant specific examples
Include specific, relevant examples to support your main points more effectively.
logical structure
Work on organizing ideas logically and using clear paragraphs for each distinct idea or argument.
complete response
The essay presents a thoughtful discussion on the conversion of agricultural lands to commercial centers and its impacts.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reflects on the overall implications of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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